- Date posted
- 1y
Struggling
One of the hardest parts of my day is seeing all the people around me doing all the things I can’t with ease. I hope they know how lucky they are.
One of the hardest parts of my day is seeing all the people around me doing all the things I can’t with ease. I hope they know how lucky they are.
Everyone is always shocked when they find out I have severe anxiety. I am so good at hiding it because it’s just become a part of my daily life. I still suffer from it but no one can tell. So, I just remind myself that everyone is dealing with something, we just don’t know. I also just always think to myself how strong I am to go out and do things even with all I go through with my mental health. Now that’s admirable! 💪🏽 we are all warriors to be able to go through life dealing with mental health conditions.
i used to think the same then i realized how good i am at pretending everything is okay when im at work and it dawned on me that there are other people who are probably also struggling but good at pretending.
@hopefulsunny That’s true
I am STRUGGLING. Ugh why did I allow this to happen
I’m definitely having an episode right now. A few times I’ve thought about coming onto this app and writing something but then I spiral further and further and I forget about anything except what’s triggering me. Then I think about this app again and intend to write a post… but again I’m spiraling too hard to focus on anything else. But I finally ended up here because I got an email from NOCD. I opened it and read about someone who ‘overcame their OCD.’ It made me spiral harder, because I genuinely don’t understand how someone can control this. How do I stop? How do I silence my brain? I was told to sit with my thoughts and not try to divert them, but if I do that I have an extreme episode so bad that I feel disconnected from myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and it felt like my eyes were seeing someone standing in front of me and not my reflection. It scares me to think that I will be experiencing these episodes forever. I literally just put my phone down twice because I thought my cat was choking to death because he had a hairball (he’s fine) I just feel like I can’t see a way out of this. It’s not curable, and I don’t understand how someone can ‘conquer’ something that feels so out of control Obviously it’s possible, but unfortunately that reassurance doesn’t always break through the most awful thoughts Sometimes there’s nothing that can make me calm down, I just have to ride it out I hope there’s never a day where it’s so out of control that I can’t keep it in at work, and I ruin my own life by having a severe panic attack while I’m there and being fired. If I had the type of episodes at work that I have consistently at home, I would be so humiliated. It scares me. I’m trying so hard to be normal like everyone else. I just want to be happy. I just want to live.
Anyone else wish that people understood what OCD does to us and why its so hard for us to breathe or act or think like them? Its rough.
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