High Anxiety | Need to Sleep | Please Help

I was trying to sleep in an aunt house and I’m suffering from nightmares or when I take naps or sleep I dream horrible things, and I took a little nap and I was about to start having a nightmare and I woke up. There’s a person that lives here and he’s not even here but I was about to have a dream with him it’s so scary he’s not even my family member or anything. And like it’s a delicate topic. But it’s the feeling that I can’t even sleep sometimes without dreaming this things that are so scary . And the groinal responses are about to kill me ! This is truly destroying my life I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be like this but I’m too tired to stay awake and too tired to sleep

I am trying to see if there are others like me. For the past 12 years, I’ve had crippling Anxiety that leads to intense panic attacks. I’ve been in and out of Ambulances and ER rooms and have called 911 several times. The panic is that intense. I can be just driving down the road and out of no where, BOOM! Hit by the anxiety bus. Most of the time it leads to me panicking, thinking I’m going to die or something is fatally wrong with me. The fear is so intense that I can only find a fraction of calmness by consistently checking my blood pressure, putting on a pulsometer and even checking my blood sugar until it passes. I’m not even a diabetic. I’m always having intrusive thoughts that doctors can’t even fix me. I’ve never met anyone else like me. I feel so scared sometimes that I’m going to loose my mind and that I’m going crazy and will end up in a straight jacket. Then I get another attack just thinking about that as well. Starting new medications freak me out too. If I experience ANY minor side effect, I immediately panic and freak out. I’m being so held back by this . This is a constant obsession that I can’t shake. It’s like I walk hand in hand with Anxiety and panic. Anyone else ever had these issues?

My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔