It’s 3am and I’m not doing well. I’m having an overwhelming amount of anxiety. I need to feel mentally clean but I’m dirty. I’ve had bad thoughts and I’m ashamed. I feel like I can’t even write it down. I want to say it aloud to someone but my wife is sleeping right next to me so doing a therapy call would be impossible. I’m feeling helpless. And so guilty for my thoughts.
Don't tag it as a bad thought it's just a thought. Don't be ashamed. I know how you feel. Let that thought go without reacting to it. The more you react the worse it gets. So just sit with it. I know it is difficult but it helped me a lot.
There’s no need to feel guilty, everyone has bad thoughts and even feelings. Write it down in your notes on your phone and delete it after if it helps. Feeling guilty about it and staying up worrying about the thoughts just shows that you don’t like them. They are unwanted. Your thoughts do not define you. You can think about anything there’s unlimited possibilities. It doesn’t make any of those thoughts true. It’s going to be okay, and the more you remind yourself of that and the less you panic over the thoughts. The less thoughts you will have.
Thank you everyone. Your words really help. I got some sleep and I’m ready to face another day.
@AJ_813 You are not your thoughts! They don’t define you or your worth
I feel so guilty I never asked for this. A certain intrusive thought that I’ve been having that won’t go away came up at the wrong time last night if you know what I’m talking about and now I feel like I’ve acted on the thoughts and I never would never want that. I feel so ashamed
Today was an awful day It felt like I was enjoying the thoughts that I had and now that it's 3 AM I feel horrible and can't sleep because of the anxiety, I've used porn multiple times and even had thoughts about it that I felt like I liked and felt guilty for it but got aroused by the women and to make matters even worse? I was sick! so I cannot even think properly, I'm starting to have feelings of dissociation and I feel like this isn't OCD anymore and these groinal responses are real arousal, I hate it so much, what can I do?
Hey friends, really rough day. I want to go to therapy but it feels like my therapists are afraid of me or don't understand me. They encourage me to just keep doing Exposure therapy but I know I'm not going to act on anything! I know I'm supposed to say "maybe maybe not" but that's not what's going on here! I feel guilty for THINKING these things! I opened up to a person the other day and they opened up about their anxiety and depression and wanted to tell them my struggles over the last 9 months but I know that my thoughts are gross and not real. I want to stop feeling guilt for my thoughts WITHOUT endorsing my thoughts. I can expose myself all I want, it doesn't make my thoughts good.
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