Kids & OCD

Has anyone had kids while dealing with this theme? Right before my big flare up, and my SOOCD/ROCD was triggered this summer, my husband and I were in the process of talking about trying for kids. We have both been very “will we, won’t we” when it comes to kids, but this past winter I felt a big urge to have children now that I am 30. Every part of me was excited for this journey with my husband and our future, until my OCD latched on and now it’s all gone. I am so terrified to have children now because what if something happens or I change and I ruin not only my husband’s life, but now I ruin my (unborn) child’s life? I wish I didn’t have this guilt. If this OCD wasn’t there I would just be living my life like I had been, but now I just doubt everything.

🙃

Date posted: 45w

Hey! I'm a mom with OCD. I have a three years old son. And my ocd show up for me after having my baby. I'm now learning to accept uncertainty and learning to be more confident, compassionate and patient with myself. Sadly my theme latched onto my son and I went deep in depression. This started a year ago. Now I'm much better and learning that I can't be the perfect mom, I'm just trying my best and learning to deal with uncertainty (is something we all need to learn as humans, but us with OCD think we have to know everything and know how to deal with everything and that's just not realistic) So, the point is, we can learn to deal with uncertainty while we take this huge life changing decisions. A huge tip I'm using lately when is overthinking is asking myself "how would a person without OCD deal with this thought/feeling/anxiety"

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w

@Anonymous Thank you for your reply!

Midwestmother

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w

Hi - mom of 3 here. I've had OCD since childhood but was not diagnosed until my youngest was 2. I definitely worry about ruining their childhood especially when I'm really struggling. That said, My children bring me more joy and meaning than anything else in my life, and they help me live well in spite of OCD. Side note, I think OCD has made it challenging for me to decide if we wanted another/should be done. Definitely harder for me than my husband. It sounds like you want to be a mother. Don't let OCD stop you from living the life you want.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w

@Midwestmother Thank you for your reply! Did you have these types of intrusive thoughts before/when you got married/started having kids?

Midwestmother

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w

@Anonymous Definitely. I probably have had OCD my whole life - fears around being alone in the world, eating disorder/body dysmorphia. I also have been dealing SO-OCD over the last 15 years - 3 major episodes, 1 before meeting my husband and 2 after kids. Oddly enough, I had wonderful pregnancies and postpartum experiences with no OCD flairs. Hope that answers your question!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w

@Midwestmother Yes! Thank you! I think I‘ve seen your comments before. I have a very similar story. Mine has been about 10 years. My first episode was right when I met my husband, and then I was second episode was this summer, but I was just diagnosed after this one. I also have dealt with this my whole life and had no idea it was OCD until recently! It’s hard to work through, especially when it comes to people you love so much, but it comforting to know you’re not the only one going through it.

🙃

Date posted: 44w

Hi!! I'm struggling with the same debate in my head. Wether I can deal another postpartum and lack of sleep with OCD

WorryBrain

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

What are you waiting for….

My struggles with OCD began in childhood, but it wasn’t until after giving birth to my first child at 30 that I finally received a diagnosis. For years, I suffered in silence with intense anxiety, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts, but because my compulsions were mostly mental—constant rumination, reassurance-seeking, and avoidance—I didn’t realize I had OCD. I experienced Pure O, where my mind would latch onto terrifying thoughts, convincing me something was deeply wrong with me. After my son was born, I was consumed by intrusive fears of harming him, even though I loved him more than anything. Seven weeks into postpartum, I hit a breaking point and ended up in the emergency room, where I was finally diagnosed. For the first time, everything made sense. I didn’t discover exposure and response prevention (ERP) until years later when my son developed Germ OCD during COVID. I went through the program myself first, and it completely changed my life. ERP helped me sit with my intrusive thoughts instead of reacting to them, breaking the cycle that had controlled me for so long. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better than before. I can finally be present instead of trapped in my head. Now, I’m working on trusting myself more and handling challenges without fear of “losing control.” As I prepare to help my daughter start therapy, I feel empowered knowing I’m giving my children the support I never had. If you know you have OCD but haven’t started therapy yet, what’s holding you back?

"Pure" OCD

Holl1

Date posted: 17w

OCD

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭

Harm OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Moms with HOCD

I have HOCD and my biggest dream is becoming a mother. However, with my intrusive thoughts/images I’ve stopped trying to conceive. Is there any other people that has been going through this same fear?

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