yesterday i was here making posts that im hopeless, that i dont think im gonna get through this today. today one of my friends passed away. i have death ocd. i fear losing people that are close to me and i just lost one i havent ate anything in two days or drink that much water. i cant accept it. i wish the person was still near me, i wish i could hug them this is the worst and most suicidal ive felt in a long long time.
I am so sorry for your loss
i didnt even know she was in the hospital until she wasnt with us anymore. im really suicidal right now but i have a girlfriend i have too stay alive for. all the anxiety from pills. all the anxiety from ocd and all the anxiety from literally losing a person is all piled up and hitting my heart like a spear
@icloudyl Stay strong friend I know how devasting it can be but your here your seeking help and you’ve made the right step. One day at a time friend one day at a time
@vnice1025 - im here because i dont wanna die. im here because through all of it, all the "this life has no meaning" feeling, i still dont wanna kill myself i have no one whom i can share this with because they will worry about me all day long and cry thats why im sharing it here. as a cry for help
@icloudyl i understand how overwhelming it is to tell ur loved ones things like this when they worry more or cry. coming from a loved one who has a brother that once felt like u do, i would stay up w him for hours, days talking, worrying, comforting, if i knew it would help him. don’t feel like an inconvenience because it would never be that. i find comfort knowing my brother was able to heal, i would stay up talking to him for the rest of my life if i got to have him for the rest of my life. you don’t have to tell everyone. but lean into ur loved ones the best you can until you’re able to handle these emotions alone. you are so loved❤️ never give up please. there’s a reason why you are here
@hbs222 - i told my girlfriend. after the passing of my friend sally i went to her and said that the ocd is really strong the thing is. she feels useless she feels like she has to fix the problem, but with ocd there isnt really a way you can help a person. you can just be there for them
@icloudyl that’s so good! just let her know that you just want her there, she doesn’t need to fix things. maybe distracting yourself with ur favorite activity, movie, music, date night, walk, workout, etcZ and talking to her about ur anxieties may help. let her know you just want her to be there and listen. at the end of the day, you’re going to feel better for YOU and heal for you. then everything else will follow. be PATIENT with yourself
@hbs222 - the reason im really doing bad is the increase in anxiety from meds and the grieve of losing friend, i had existential thought before my friend passed out and now its just doubled. i want to think she is in a better place. maybe heaven maybe her soul is just free now but there will be doubt in every maybe im saying. i just cant accept that she is fully gone
My intrusive thoughts really really really disturbing and I just I can’t seem to like saying maybe to them and I can’t seem to like just accept them cuz they are sexual related and abt family too. They seem so real and I know that everyone says that but it’s just I can’t take it because it feels so ridiculously real and I keep thinking what if I actually like these thoughts or want these thoughts and I’m scared. As well as intrusive urges they are really debilitating and scary on top of compulsions which hurt me in the exhausting and I don’t know what’s real anymore and my values seem to be gone why won’t my head just stop! I don’t know how to explain my fee my anxiety is through the roof and my therapist is more than ERP therapist rather than someone I can just talk too like I definitely can but she’s more of a like a an exposure therapist and I just I don’t have anyone anymore and my best friend Pet bird just passed away a few hours ago and I think that has a really big affect on how I’m feeling and I’m crying so much right now and grieving I’m scared please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.
I’m a dog walker. I connect with dogs 5 days a week. I get very attached to my clients and their spirits. I see dogs as spirit guides and beautiful, loving animals. This week, I have lost a fur friend with whom I grew a strong bond with. All I can say is that death is sudden and I didn’t get much info about the incident. Just a few texts. I felt like John Wick when he lost his puppy, his little ball of sunshine, during dark times. I’ve been struggling to accept this dog’s death. I cried. Wrote in my journal. Tried to rest and clean. Sadly, I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I keep thinking about how I will never get to see him ever again. Signs of spring are here but I can’t enjoy them because I’m preoccupied with ruminating what could’ve possibly happened to him. I keep thinking how this sweet boy won’t be able to sit in the sun with me or smell the new flowers that are blooming. I get pissed because a week ago I saw him and everything was all fine and dandy. Life was good. Now, I’ll even search online as if I can seek answers to tell me what happened. I know I’m grieving. I just want this to be a bad joke. 😞
I lost my brother almost a month ago. if feels like it was yesterday. my biggest worry is when i snap out of the denial stage of this grief , that i’m going to lose my mind. it’s a scary feeling and i don’t know what to do. i’m still in therapy and don’t plan on stopping either but i just worry. i’ve cried here and there but all ive done is keep myself busy and distracted from this. i have my moments - i just am in such disbelief.
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