Visual Contamination?

I get this! If I see it’s dirty or it feels (physically or mentally) I avoid it. I haven’t actually taken a bath, like sitting in a tub full of water since I was super tiny because I cannot get over how gross the bottom of a shower is. And if the shower appears dirty I barely move when showering at all. You’re not alone in this I hope you can get better!

I don't wgat I experience is exactly the same but it brings grief for sure. Without going into too much detail as to why (cuz it isn't that I see anything visually on the shelves of the shower) but a couple times in past YEARS either SOMEONE in my family used shampoo, soap, etc after we were somewhere with family and that family holds a MEMORY of another family member's illness and ultimately their death. Since that point I only put the shampoo and body soaps etc on certain shelves and just the other day my son put his face soap on a shelf I don't use and that bothered me. He left it here and when I saw it I was instantly upset. Then I started thinkibg of how he reached over the tub to getthat face soap, and had it by his shirt and since then has PROBABLY put that face soap on the COUNTER by the sink and everywhere else he put it. I do get WORRIED about how and where the towels were before they came upstairs cuz I have worries about your BASEMENT. and I am like you...very careful but when others bring towels upstairs they carry them in a big stack and so I don't want to use those cuz they probably went by something I was worried about cuz trust ne.....there is a lot down there and it is the same as the bathroom....memories or pictures on the wall or stuff that takes me back to when I lost my family member. I have used some clean shirts that I do not wear outside cuz I bought them and they did not fit right. to dry off instead of taking one of the towels. You don't gave anything to be ashamed of!!! I know I can understand or at least empathize with what you are going through. For me it is actually harder with my ocd in my own home...with the exception of some family member's houses. For me it is a daily thing cuz I will always have this shower, this basement, etc. and I share the house with my large family. who does not havecany of these fears etc.... I am glad for them that they don't but it cane be rough.....snd some days more than others. Hang in there! I try as. best as I can to let things go and not react ti things that happen here at home. Some days I do great but there are times where I wish I had not seen what I saw (like the shower shelf thing)....but if I had my wish for real...it would be that I did not have OCD...and that it did not exist. However, since I have ocd I just have to work hard every day you live my life then way I thought life would be before I got ocd. Don't be so hard on yourself! If you can start noticing the thoughts you are having are just thoughts (with no power) you will start to feel better. I know that I do. I still have those setbacks sometimes or worries but if I let enough time go by and don't rewash something, etc I can get more accomplished and I feel.better. The bathroom.shelves I still do not like...but if this was years past, I would gave been upset fir days!!!!! I know I cannot control everything so when my son left the soap on a shelf that to me has a bad memory, I got upset but it passed and it passed quickly! I hope that you will soon start feeling better with the "visual contaminator OCD"!!! Take it one step at a time.

***Sorry...I meant "visual contamination OCD". Sorry for my typos!!! My phone changes what I type and capitalizes words I never capitalized. It literally changes words I typed into other words. ugh

this. i totally get what you're saying. i'm currently dealing with a similar thing where i can't handle using dishes if i can see even a tiny speck or scratch on them (like, hello, i'm supposed to eat off that?!). it’s like my brain goes into overdrive with these visual triggers. it's tough and really isolating, but you're not alone in this. sending u lots of strength and virtual hugs 💪