Think boyfriend is cheating- advice pls

But how do i know if its cheating or my ocd overthinking?! We ran out of condoms pretty quick because i thought we had a 12 pack and he said no it was a 6. In that case it made some sense as I’m pretty sure we used 5 and maybe he lost one, but then today he found another 2 in his car which he forgot were there once we purchased a new box That would make the total 7 not 6 which means he would have bought a 12 pack?! Somethings not adding up- he either is cheating and bought a 12 pack OR i mis calculated What do i do?!

ScuderiaAlpha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 46w

This deep level of thinking about it and analysing, and you clearly really have, would suggest this is ROCD playing up. I’ve experienced this myself and I know how frustrating it is. Annoyingly OCD never lets us have a concrete answer as to whether something is true or not OR if something is OCD or not. It wants you to doubt. It’s always gonna go “yeh but what if….” no matter what answer you give it. Ultimately with ROCD we have to get comfortable with being uncertain about things in our relationships. OCD doesn’t let you have 100% certainty so you have to get comfy with the idea of not knowing. This is obviously really tricky for you, so I’m sorry. My advice would be to lean into that uncertainty about it and stop compulsively trying to work it out. Remember that OCD also LOVES to use mundane evidence and coincidences as proof that our obsessions could be real. I would say to myself in your situation “I’m allowed to worry about this and suspect my boyfriend is cheating when it’s LITERALLY staring at me in the face and there is NO other explanation here.” I’m not a professional at all though, so defo worth bringing up with your therapist for more expert advice. :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 46w

@ScuderiaAlpha Ahh thank you so much for this! So right now because theres no hard core evidence i should lean into it and not ruminate- only when im certain i should allow myself to suspect him! Makes so much sense thank you- i definitely do struggle with ROCD its either me cheating (false mems) or him😂😭 never ending

pamelaterry

Date posted: 46w

Damn, I feel this to my core. It's so tough when OCD makes you question everything and turns the simplest things into a spiral of doubt. I'm actually dealing with a similar thing right now where I keep obsessing over whether my friends are secretly mad at me or if it's just my brain playing tricks. Like, every little thing they say or do makes me question our friendship. It's such a mindfuck, right? I know it feels like you're stuck in this loop of uncertainty but remember that OCD loves to twist things and make us doubt our reality. Try to take a step back and see if you can spot the OCD patterns in your thoughts. You're not alone in this, my friend. We can get through this together. Sending you love and strength.

Anonymous

Date posted: 46w

@pamelaterry It’s so draining!! I just want to stop over thinking and be at peace but its really hard😂 I’m going to try my best to stay present

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 22w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

Puffin123456

Date posted: 12w

Pls help

Does anyone else’s OCD look for “evidence” to help convince you whatever you’re worried about is true. Half the time the “evidence isn’t even evidence “ it’s just reaching and connecting the dots where there are no dots. If I try to disprove it it’ll be like yeah but what if this or what if that or maybe it could be because of this etc. like the other day. I could know the truth and ocd will still try to convince me otherwise. I was at the store with my bf and we were facing each other talking I saw two guys and two girls walking towards us then I looked away to talk to my bf they walked behind me and I saw my bfs eyes look down to the side for a quick second then look up at me. My brain was like oh he was looking at the girls butt because they walked behind me and he looked down to the side. I couldn’t tell you because I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. Plus other people could’ve walked behind me idk. My ocd kept bothering me so I asked him about it he said that he saw them but he looked because there was someone that almost hit me with their cart which that makes sense. However my brain still continued to try and convince me by being like he was lying if someone was about to hit u with their cart u would know or you would’ve saw them coming like the other people etc etc. Is that just OCD trying to convince me and disprove what my bf said or is my OCD right? It doesn’t bother me if that was the case what bothers me is my ocd coming up with stuff and then trying to disprove me and make assumptions and connect dots where there aren’t any. Like this is what I’m talking about, I can’t see behind my back, there are 30 other things he could’ve been looking at. He already gave me an answer that makes sense. I don’t know why he’d lie or how he’d come up with that on the spot. Feel like if he was lying he would’ve been like no I wasn’t , not told me what he was looking at. There were plenty of other people in the store that day etc.

clhewitt

Date posted: 11d

Relationship ocd

Ok is this OCD or not? When my boyfriend and me first started dating I didn’t know it but for the first month he was still talking to and seeing his ex girlfriend. He says they weren’t physical but I’m not dumb. It was early on so I let it go. We are going on a year now and a few months ago she sent him a message saying “I miss coming to your house and you fucking me” He told me about it and didn’t respond to her. He blocked her. Now we are very serious and about a month ago I asked him if he still has her number in his phone. He said yes. I asked him to get rid of it but he got defensive and said he wouldn’t. It ate me up. He is talking marriage with me. I can’t quit thinking about it. Is this a huge red flag or is it my OCD?

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Think boyfriend is cheating- advice pls

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