THERAPY QUESTION!! Comments would be great!!

I’ve had 4 sessions with a therapist and I feel worse. At the moment, she is trying to get to know me and my problem, but that’s not helping me at all. I want to know what to do when I’m triggered, like things I can say to myself etc but she says it’s a process and there is a method to it. We can’t rush it, but right now, I feel worse when I’m with my boyfriend (I have ROCD) and am seeking more reassurance than ever before. I feel more stressed. I don’t know whether to trust the process of therapy and take that leap to try something different or try another therapist? I do really like her and the way she works. I’m so so unsure. What if I waste all this money and feel worse at the end of it? That will really defeat me and I will feel so hopeless. All I want from therapy are WAYS to actually help myself, I don’t want to just talk about my feelings and thoughts and why I feel them!! But is that the process of all cbt therapy? Do they have to get to know you in the first few sessions before giving help on how to help the problem? Or do some give you strategies when you ask? We are doing formulation diagrams, worry diaries etc. What if I see another therapist and they actually give me strategies straight away that I can use to help me? Because right now when I’m triggered, I’m completely helpless because I have no strategies to use to help me. Therapy just confuses me and if I take advice from the internet for strategies then what is the point in paying for therapy if I’m not getting strategies from it but someplace free? How do I know if this is the right therapy for me? These last couple of weeks I’ve never had this many what if thoughts, I just want to feel certain about something 😪 (my ocd hates phrases like red flags, or that doesn’t sound good etc, just hopeful advice would be amazing 🙏🏻)

cvt02

Date posted: 48w

Hi! I’m also a young adult who has OCD. For some additional context: I just started ERP myself and I have a friend who also has OCD. I felt similarly when I first started so I asked my friend since she’s been in ERP for a good while now. She told me (even before I started) that it’s going to get worse before it gets better. If you like her, I suggest sticking with it. OCD is very complex and requires a lot of work to overcome. If you do not talk about your feelings and thoughts as well as what causes them, you won’t be able to get better. OCD is incredibly unique to the individual since it presents differently in each person who has it; your therapist is most likely trying to figure out what approach will end up working best for you. I think it’s very important to understand that your OCD will not go away; you will still experience intrusive thoughts, but be able to handle them better by the end of your treatment. It might not seem hopeful right now, but one of the biggest steps in recovery is accepting uncertainty. As people with OCD, we feel like we need certainty in order to function when we don’t. I also struggle with reassurance seeking. I know now that every time I seek reassurance, I continue the cycle. What I’m going to say might upset you, but I feel as though this is the best advice I can give you right now: accept that you don’t know by allowing yourself to sit with the feeling of uncertainty. Im aware it’s much easier said than done, but it’s something to think about! Also, I’m not a professional; just another person with OCD so take what I said with a grain of salt. I wish you the best of luck with your recovery! Stick to the process and work hard; you got this!

meglucy

Date posted: 48w

@cvt02 Thank you, this is really encouraging 🙏🏻 how many sessions in did you start erp? Some people say they did erp straight away so what if I found a therapist that did that? I’m so confused

meglucy

Date posted: 48w

@cvt02 I’m just crying to myself really hopeless I just want an answer to my thoughts it’s so painful 😩

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 48w

The big question here is , is your therapist an OCD trained specialist? or is she only CBT/Talk Therapy? standard CBT and talk therapy are not effective for OCD and can even make it worse is some cases. I work with a therapist with this app and we dove right into ERP and strategies the first day. She spent about 45 min getting to know me, then 15 min with ERP prep work.

meglucy

Date posted: 48w

@TexasOCD41 What kind of strategies did they advise? I can’t get a therapist with this app as I’m in the uk

meglucy

Date posted: 48w

@TexasOCD41 And yes she specialises in ocd

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 48w

@meglucy - breathing exercises, coming up with a mantra that I say when I have my intrusive thoughts that I say to myself to shift gears in my brain and teach it to set aside the intrusive thoughts and redirect attention to being in the present. my mantra is " I don't care about that right now, what else should I be doing instead" and then actively getting re-engaged in my current activities. We also focus on "prep-work" which is basically self care, so getting good rest, a healthy diet, some exercise, some pleasure activities like hot baths, massages, going to see a movie, taking my medicine to prime my body for ERP and then we do ERP where I allow the things that cause me distress to just be, like a car in the lane next to me, I don't need to get away form the car, I just need to stay in my lane and allow it to stay in its lane. give you therapist time because she does need to know you to know your views to find your triggers so she can focus on them and how to put together a treatment plan.

meglucy

Date posted: 48w

@TexasOCD41 Yeah but I’m not sure I have time to wait for a treatment plan I’m crying to my boyfriend and asking reassurance from everyone I feel like a burden on everyone. Things feel like they are spiralling. I started therapy to get help, I really didn’t expect to be 10x worse so now the confusion is overwhelming. How can I keep doing the sessions every week and feeling so bad? That’s not going to help me is it? Why won’t she tell me what I need to do? I don’t want to lose my relationship over this

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 48w

@meglucy - I can tell you right now what you need to do for starters and that is stop asking for reassurance. OCD is fed by compulsions and asking for reassurance is a compulsion. You need to 100% stop doing that. Treating OCD is extremely simple in theory. You stop doing the things you do compulsively to gain relief. She could give you a treatment plan tomorrow, its not going to magically make your anxiety go away, and doing the strategies she gives you one time will not work instantly, its a skill that takes practice. You need to find the patience. you say you don't have time to wait? what other option do you have but to wait. Also, starting therapy often does make it worse because you should start with cutting out compulsions and moving into the fears. If you have ROCD, what ever negative thoughts you are having regarding your relationship, you are probably going to be instructed to lean into them, not fight or resist them, to face them head on. Thats going to be uncomfortable In the beginning. It looks like you are looking for an instant fix and unfortunately there isn't one.

Mariabae

Date posted: 23w

going to therapy made it worse

I talked to my therapist about the emotional disconnection I feel in my relationship — how I often feel nothing when I’m with my boyfriend, how I feel irritated or even disgusted during intimate moments, and how all of this creates constant fear and sadness in me. I told her that I want to love him, that I used to feel more, and that I believe my thoughts and reactions are part of something deeper — like ROCD — not necessarily the truth. But she said something like, “It doesn’t make sense that you want to love him but don’t feel love,” and suggested that I might just be lying to myself and need to “accept the truth.” That crushed me. I kept explaining that these thoughts feel obsessive, that they don’t align with my values or how I see myself — that they’ve taken away my ability to feel joy or peace. And yet, I left with this terrible fear that maybe she’s right, that maybe I’m just in denial. She even told me that I have two choices: accept that I don’t love him and stay while lying to myself, or leave. And that… that made me feel like she was confirming my worst fear — not helping me explore it safely. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lie to myself. I just want clarity, and peace, and the ability to feel again. I also didn’t tell my boyfriend about the session, because he’s skeptical of therapy — he thinks therapists just want money, and that I have to “help myself” if I want to feel better. I kind of get where he’s coming from, but it still makes me feel a little alone in this. I guess I’m posting here just to say… I feel really lost right now. I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is ROCD or just the truth I’m too scared to accept

1231234

Date posted: 16w

Tips for someone starting out with Therapy?

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

jerreisstrong

Date posted: 13w

Rough time getting started in therapy

Has anyone else had a rough start? I’m 4 sessions in and have had no actual ERP work happen, I have 2 different therapists because none have availability to meet 2 times a week. Both those therapists are not available for the next 2 weeks so now I’m going to see a new 3rd one. Each time I’ve seen a new therapist I feel like the whole first session is spent with them re explaining everything. I’m paying for this out of pocket because they don’t accept Tricare which is my insurance as a Retired Marine. So I’m 960 in, and honestly feel worse than when I started. I get zero suggestions on what to do between sessions and feel so incomplete after my session finishes. I feel like I’ve gotten more help asking chat gpt questions on EPR and how to deal with ROCD than I do in my sessions . Does anyone have any insight or helpful advice here?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

THERAPY QUESTION!! Comments would be great!!

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community