Hi! Could any offer any advice please? :)

I feel that even if the ERP works i will never ever get over the fact that some of my past behaviours as a young child prove I am gay I have started ERP, and I am starting from the bottom of the anxiety hierarchy. The task that gives me lower anxiety is staring at a photo of a lesbian couple. last night I was able to do this for about 10 mins and the anxiety faded and i didn’t do any compulsions. But does that mean my ocd is fake because the duration of anxiety wasn’t super long and I managed to not do any compulsions? Does the ERP get harder when the tasks are more difficult? Of course im not wishing for more anxiety but i can’t help but feel like this means the ocd isn’t real. Any advice would be much appreciated thank you :) Also as I have read that SO-OCD is so rare I’m worried my therapist just thinks I am gay. I don’t think she is an OCD specialist but we are doing ERP. I know people say therapists have seen all sorts before but I just know that I am probably the only one she has had with this fear.

ScuderiaAlpha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w

So it’s super common for tasks at the bottom of the ERP ladder to not actually cause you much anxiety. That’s the point! You’re starting with them BECAUSE they don’t cause you much anxiety or urges to do compulsions when triggered by them. You might even discover that things you thought would be 7/10 SUDS only cause you a 4/10 or 5/10. This is very normal. Everyone is completely different and no two recoveries look the same. And yes also very normal to have the thought “what if this ERP task not giving me much anxiety means it’s true?!”. Remember OCD is the doubting disorder which means you will doubt everything, including the treatment. ERP does tend to get more distress inducing as you move up the ladder but it may not for you as you might be someone who responds really well to treatment. I recently did an ERP exercise I rated at the start as a 8/10 only to find it caused a 4/10 at a max. Why? Because I had already habituated to the easier exposures. The point is that you start with the easy ones so you learn you can tolerate those before moving up. OCDs favourite phrase btw is “this isn’t OCD” or “you’re in denial that’s why it isn’t causing as much distress”. I’ve experienced this and I’ll bet many other people on here have too. Another great trick of OCD by the way is to tell you that even if this treatment works, you’re never “going to get over it”. All it wants is to keep you trapped and get more compulsions done. ALSO for the record SO-OCD is not rare at all (not at all to downplay or diminish your struggles AT ALL but just so you feel less alone and hopeful!). I can think of a fair few people including my own brother, my friends, his friends who have all struggled with SOOCD and have now recovered after ERP! Hope this helps and wish you well with ERP! :)

Wed_Wheel

Date posted: 21w

My SO OCD

I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?

Sexual Orientation OCD

kitchensink234

Date posted: 14w

Advice please!

I have been really battling with my SO OCD, and I’ve recently started to have a ton of wins!!! I’m really excited about it, but as I’ve noticed myself not engaging as much… different things have popped up. Now im obsessed with people’s perception on me, and them looking at me and thinking by how I walk, how I talk, what I wear, how I move… that I am gay? And am so convinced everyone thinks that and “knows something that I don’t”. Is that typical with OCD? If so, any ERP advice on how to overcome these thoughts?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 20d

Need help right now

So been trying to do erp with my therapist for a while now, and tis really hard and feels like it's not working. Il get this weird sensation or feeling that makes me feel"gay" or as if I'm attracted to someone, and I know my therapist keeps telling me" you don't have to put meaning into the thoughts or feelings" but that seems impossible to do because and I'm sorry to say, it makes me feel that specific way. And I'll use the Erp quotes, "maybe maybe not" or"the more I struggle, the worse it gets" or"these feelings and thoughts are here, but I'm choosing to let them be" and I'll do nothing and try to let it be here but it's so distracting and feels very real, and it's like this sensation, small or big and it last all day, and even just sitting with it isn't working. And my therapist will tell me"you don't have to believe in it" and I'm sorry I feel like if it were that easy, OCD would have never been a problem in the first place, or live with uncertainty, however it doesn't feel like uncertainty, but feels very truthful or valid. Idk what I'm doing wrong tho

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Hi! Could any offer any advice please? :)

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community