It feels so real like im gonna act out on a hurrendous harm ocd feeling its terrible i dont know what to do im really frightened it feels like im going to do it and im really scared i have an intrusive feeling throughout my whole body its like panics taking over my body im all hot and that can anyone talk
Hey I have harm ocd too. Available to talk!
@dslite I am so terrified im crying my eyes out right now i am so done with this. :(
@dslite I am really really really struggling with my harm ocd. I am constantly in a state of panic, have intrusive feelings without intrusive thoughts. I am so scared I am going to act out on a terrible thought I am so terrified. I am scared this isn’t ocd because i am not officially diagnosed but I am so scared in case I am actually a terrible human being. I have had a few triggers this week that has sent me into turmoil. I found a pocket knife and I was so scared that i would k*** my family who i love absolutely millions and cry at the thought of them dying. I made my boyfriend hide it so i couldnt find it. I try to avoid knives but i am just so scared when i do use one i am just going to do it. Whenever my boyfriend is round i feel better because he knows aboutthe thoughts and i always say promise me you’ll restrain me if i do something terrible. Even writing this now i am terrified in case this is real. In case i am going to do something terrible. I also just feel over whelmed too and dont wanna be touched or anything And i had an angry argument with my mum and this makes ut worse. I always remive myself in case i do something bad but this feels so terrifyingly real that i dont know what to do. I always say to myself Everything will be okay. But I also say this to myself. - I will just go to a mental hospital if im about to do it - if i was ever close id kms first I an terrifed because now my ocd is like going You want to and you wouldnt check urself into a hospital or kms. It feels SO real right now like im about to do it and im terrified becahse what if i actually want that then i just start crying again
@carol.xxx Harm ocd can take a lot out of us. I know it’s not the response you want but have you tried sitting with your thoughts and letting them pass? (I’m trying to do that myself right now)
@carol.xxx Do you currently have a therapist? A lot of the thoughts you shared are also situations I have gone through
@dslite im trying but just crying im frightened its just really scary because i get a thought like this is actually you you want to do this and it reinforces all the panic
@dslite No I havent. Are you uk based?
@carol.xxx OCD is a liar always. Just remember that. I am not UK based. I don’t know if this is helpful but https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/specialist-ocd-treatment-services/
@dslite Until you start doing exposure work and trying to “embrace the thoughts”, the OCD will feel loud and out of control
@dslite To also bring yourself down during intense feelings and urges I would try distress tolerance techniques like TIPP, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation
I would highly recommend getting an OCD specific therapist and starting ERP. Medication also helped decrease the amount and intensity of my harmful thoughts.
Please reassure yourself usr aromatherapy (candles,incense or lip gloss) as a comforting scent and go into a quiet room and breathe deeply and do a guided meditation and keep reassuring yourself.
I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice
I’m out of energy my cod feels at its worst I actually feel like I’m bad and there is something wrong with me I feel numb I can’t cry or be anxious over anything and I don’t know what to do because I don’t feel normal now it feels like I’m bad. I had this stabbing thought which I after started deliberately imaging to test myself but instead it felt like I like the feeling and know how it feels to stab someone then I was getting this feeling that I liked it wanted it or would enjoy it and it felt extremely real like i wanted it because it would feel ‘good’ I cant explain it but it suddenly felt like I enjoy or want it almost like I wanted to feel the feeling of doing that bad thing because I ‘like it’ I have no energy I can’t get over that feeling because it now felt like I actually wanted it I don’t know what is going on I’m worrying now I will actually want that to know how it is or as if I’ve discovered what evil people like or why they enjoy it and now I’m so lost and confused and I feel numb I don’t even know if I want or don’t want it and people always say with ocd they feel like they want it but they know deep down it’s against their morals or they would never do that but it literally feels like I don’t know now and it felt like a real feeling that I thought there was something good or enjoyable about doing that thing and I’m concerned I’ve had ocd for 2/3 years now and I’ve gone through crying and being upset and all the different emotions of having it and now I’m experiencing this and worried if I’ve changed and what if I’m actually evil now or have come to like evil things from imagining it and I want to talk to someone I don’t know what to do the other day it felt really real that it was about to happen and that I wanted to and I was getting this sick feeling that I was happy or liked it. Please I need advice I can’t get over this and move on because it feels like it wasn’t ocd and that feeling still happens and how can I ignore it and even if I try to ignore it I can’t because it felt real that I liked it and now it feels like there’s no going back if it felt like I actually liked it 🙁🙁
Does anyone else get super scared of feelings of adrenaline while you have intrusive thoughts? Like it feels like it’s trying to take over your body and those feelings of anger are trying to collide and dictate what ur body does? Now you feel impulsive and on edge and you feel like you are acting on your thoughts? Like I get thoughts about hurting family and I get super scared when I get feelings of anger about them and I feel that adrenaline! It’s all intrusive and I don’t like anything of it
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