- Date posted
- 5y
I am 21 years old, I have the same fear of hurting others, and Since thebpast three weeks I constantly remember a past event that happend. I relive it the entire day thinking I did wrong and knowing so, no matter what others tell me. I am so afraid I got a contagious sickness that makes others sick. I also hurt a very good friend in thebpast and when ever I think about her I firmly believe ai ruined her life and that she might commit suicide because of me. I have no idea whether this idea makes sense anymore, I really cant
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely understand. I’m so scared I ruined my friend’s life so badly. Borderline is literal hell. It makes me feel like I’m a horrible person bc my emotions are so discombobulated and I get scared of abandonment and try to avoid it as much as I can.
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- 5y
I know the feeling, I am afraid my new friends find out and abandon me forever. Sometimes I think its for the better, to punish myself. Are you seeing a terapist?
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- 5y
Same!! I’m fearing of talking to new people or even certain friends I’ve had for years in fear of them finding out past mistakes and abandoning me and I have this extreme fear of being called out online and it scares me and ruins my life bc I’m a freelancer and I haven’t been able to even work on stuff lately. I don’t currently see a therapist. I just got out of the hospital and I’m supposed to go to the day program there starting Thursday.
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- 5y
@Mars Im a student, and had a severe ocd mements evers since three weeks ago during my thesis. Thesis is now on hold, seeing a psychologist wednesday
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- 5y
@Trueblossom I wish you luck. The most I can say is your past mistakes aren’t you. I hope the psychologist can help you.
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- 5y
I csn relate, what problems are you struggeling with? I am afraid I have hiv and cause others to have it. If it’s not hiv, its something else
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- 5y
When I was 15-16 a friend of mine would show me Hentai. (Drawn porn) and it dealt with very illegal morally wrong things. I didn’t think it was wrong at the time bc I didn’t even know what masturbation was until I met this friend and the porn was drawn so it wasn’t real. I’m p sure the subject of that stuff was illegal. And then I’d read Hentai that was noncon related and didn’t realize it was wrong. Then when I had just turned 17 I started going out with someone online. We barely spoke but when we did it was just us gushing saying I love you and dumb stuff like that. We did a roleplay once that it was her favorite character feeding her. It didn’t last long at all. Maybe 10 minutes. It didn’t get really far at all. And then 2 months in I didn’t realize how old they were and they said “I’ll be 14 in 2 months” and asked if I was mad at them. I said no but I think I started ghosting them if my memory serves me correct. They eventually “broke up” with me and I was like ok. It didn’t really bother me none. But I feel guilt for that too. Like I’m a terrible person.
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- 5y
How old are you now? I get that it’s hard to get past, I have had past experience with a lot of regret as wel, mostly regarding ones health. Probably early signs of resp ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m 22 now. It was sooo long ago. My ocd still makes me feel bad for things even tho I’ve had years of therapists telling me I did nothing wrong. It sucks. I just want to feel normal. I don’t want to hurt a single person. Ever. I already hurt my best friend of 10 years recently bc of undiagnosed bpd the last few years and that’s already hurting and after we fell out my ocd has just been really driving me up a wall.
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