How can I accept that I may need medication for the rest of my life? Some background: I have several family members with OCD, my paternal grandmother and one of my cousins on my dad's side. I had anxiety issues from really early on as a kid, particularly around health related stuff. I would clean little cuts frequently, small things like that. Other than that, I never felt majorly affected. That changed when I was 19, a few months after I gave birth to my son. I started having obsessions rooted in hypochondria, like that I might have some disease, or that myself and/or those I love would get some horrible illness and die. I was diagnosed and started taking Prozac at 21 years old. I'm now 27. Medication works incredibly well for me. I have no side effects, I function totally normal when medicated. But I've gone off medication like 5 or 6 times just to see if I'm finally okay, and without fail, I relapse (which is happening to me right now, and yes, I've restarted my meds.) My OCD thoughts don't want to accept this though, and I'm being thrown all kinds of thoughts like what if someday the world falls apart and I don't have access to medicine? Or what if I take it for years and years, just to someday find out that it gave me brain cancer or insertdiseasehere? Does anyone have any tips for accepting medication as a necessary part of my life?

DrBurnzz

Date posted: 6y

I suppose medicine is there to mask the problem and when you come off it shows its face again. Im guessing you've tried ERP? Forcing your brain to accept uncertainty is difficult but the best thing for everyone with OCD long term

seekingvee

Date posted: 6y

I've done some ERP, but I'm not entirely sure how to do it with fears that I can't exactly face in real life, if that makes sense.

DrBurnzz

Date posted: 6y

@seekingvee The way to do it is when the worry comes in, accept that it could happen but until then you don't know so no point in going over it. So every time it comes up which im guessing is a lot, just say, yes that could happen. Yes it would be horrible if it did but its a what if, ERP is about exposing you to your feared outcome and preventing yourself from responding to it. After weeks of showing your brain its response is irrational, you will stop feeling desperate to figure out an answer.

seekingvee

Date posted: 6y

@DrBurnzz So imaginal exposure, essentially?

DrBurnzz

Date posted: 6y

@seekingvee Example; Old way: Thought - What if my meds give me brain cancer; Response - check online Thought - what if im on meds forever Response - check online New way; Thought - What if im on meds forever? response - ye that would be bad Thought - sort it out then?? Response - no its a what if thought Though - but what if it happens??? Response - then it does ?‍♂️ Thought - WTFFFF?? Response - ? Thought - oh maybe its not that bad after all

DrBurnzz

Date posted: 6y

@DrBurnzz Your mind wants certainty thats its going to be ok, its natural state is to survive so when theses thoughts come in and you react with danger then your brains natural reaction is to figure it out. But you cant figure out the future so when your worry thought pops up, react appropriately and say yes that would be bad whatever. Dont go down the rabbit hole of taking the worry seriously and trying to get certainty from an in solvable problem

seekingvee

Date posted: 6y

@DrBurnzz Gotcha! So I have to do that and try to figure out what my compulsions are. I'm primarily obsessional, so I often don't realize that something is a compulsion because it isn't logically related. I do know I skin pick when it's really bad, and I do compulsively research. I've been resisting the urge to research long-term effects of prozac lol

stephy

Date posted: 6y

I think about this too sometimes, but remember you're the only one thinking that. Try to take the medication a month at a time. Set yourself goals in therapy that will help you reduce the medication if you want and your doctor approves it. Focus on recovery rather than the thought that you may never be recovered enough to be stable on your own. By the way, you're not alone in this thought by any means - it's not a nice thought to have.

llamaduck

Date posted: 6y

If you really want to be off meds you need to try imaginal erp. I have a lot of health related fears too, have been working with a therapist. Erp has been like creating a really detailed story where my worst fears come true. (such as: going to the doctor, getting diagnosed with cancer, going through xyz treatments, it doesn't work, eventually dying) I record this story and listen to it in repeat for about 1 hr each day while imagining that this is actually happening to me. I tjink this is the sort of exposure you need to try without giving into compulsions or distractions. If you're able to work with a therapist it would be easier.

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