Those of you who have overcome at least a bit, if not all, of your OCD. When you went through the CBT and ERP, did it feel like the end of the world? And how did you face the fact that your fears and uncertainties might actually come to life?
Well, I got a relatively good grip on my MTOCD due to ERP. The triggers still frighten me, but I barely feel the urge to do compulsions anymore. When I get in a situation in which there are triggers and I am unable to flee, my anxiety is through the roof for a few minutes, it feels like it will never ever go down and then it goes down and I can handle the situation. I got the feeling, as the C part - except avoidance - of MTOCD is barely there anymore, that my MTOCD turned in to a phobia, but I'm not sure.
How I faced the fears? Well, with regards to MTOCD my intrusions made no sense at all, there had been no chance in hell, that my fears would come true. My rational side knew that, but my emotional and OCD side didn't. Regarding my Harm OCD, it never scared me that much, as I always had the feel deep down, that I'll never turn violent against anyone. With my sex themed subtypes it is different, even my logical side thinks there is the possibility of me doing something bad, as for me e.g. accidentally touching a child on the shoulder, while having POCD intrusions is unacceptable. So working on POCD, ZOCD, etc. using ERP is extremely hard for me.
A bit of background…2.5 months ago I was in the hospital after a suicide attempt. I went back to work yesterday. Lean into it your horrid, terrifying thoughts. And when I say lean in, embrace them wholeheartedly like they are the best thing you’ve ever thought. YES, I want to murder my family. YES, I want to slit my wrists with a sharp knife while I chop vegetables. YES, I want to hit pedestrians with my car. YES, I want to stay awake all night having a panic attack about work. And guess what? THE THOUGHTS PASS INSTANTLY. ERP that shit. Every thought, all day, every day. Also follow @tabootracie and @alegrakastens on Instagram. If you have a NOCD therapist, attend Tracie’s support groups on Sundays and Tuesdays. She has changed my life.
Yes, it was distressing. It's magical though to accept the fear might come true. It worked for me- erp that is. It really helped
Newly diagnosed with OCD but have struggled with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and night terrors for about 20 years now. Never knew it was OCD! Anyhow, I struggle with existential OCD and perfectionism OCD which has always caused me to dislike “regular” talk therapy because it never worked, there was no point, and I was worried I wasn’t doing it right. Well I’ve started ERP with my therapist, and now every day that I have therapy, I anxiously spiral about how it’s going to be bad, and I’m not going to get better anyway because I’m not doing it right, and what’s the point in getting better anyway. Sorry for the run on sentences. Does anyone have advice for getting motivated for therapy sessions and not fearing them? TL;DR: Does anyone have advice of how to stay motivated for ERP therapy with doubts of failing/anxiety/existential thoughts?
Treatment - ERP Hey so basically I'm just soooo scared to do ERP. I started doing erp with one service and I couldn't cope with our first exposure which was just sitting alone for 20 minutes and accepting intrusive thoughts with no compulsions'. I found this so distressing and hard. I've been moved services and probably will be doing ERP with them but I really don't want to do it. I know it's the gold standard treatment for OCD but it scares me so much knowing I have to do it. I'm scared it will make me way more sick and at this point in my life I cannot afford to be more sick (I'm starting year 13 next month and doing my A-level exams in may) I want to trust that this will work but I'm just very scared. I'm scared that this service will be just as bad as the other one. One of my big fears that we did my hierarchy for with service 1 was around science practicals as that was the only fear that therapist 1. I'm scared that therapist 2 will focus on the same scenario (which is a scenario that I struggle A LOT with) but I can't do that, I'm not sure what my hierarchy will be this time. I can't think of any harm exposures at all but I'm sure she will be able to.
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