I have sent nudes before when I was younger and I am really struggling with the fact that I have sent them because it makes me feel like I am such a bad person and I don’t deserve certain things. I try my hardest to be a good person and do the right things but I obviously have made lots and lots of mistakes. I cannot get over these mistakes I’ve made because I judge myself so hard for them and it’s making it hard to function.
Sending sexual content of yourself is not a flaw, I can promise you it's more common than you think. It may be embarassing or regretful, but it was also a stage of self-discovery for yourself. You now know how much you don't like that kind of vulnerability, and that's an important lesson!
I can totally relate to your struggles, since perfectionism has been a dominant theme of mine for as long as I can remember. I also can relate to how it feeds into guilt and shame, especially when it comes to sexual topics. Try to remember that when you are experiencing guilt and shame, it comes from the OCD and not from your authentic self. You don’t have to let the OCD bully you or make you feel like a terrible person!!
I’m sorry you’re struggling. It’s so so common for OCD to cause you to focus on your mistakes only. But try to take this as a moment to remind yourself that perfection isn’t real. You will never be a perfect person, and it’s ok to work on accepting your perceived mistakes or flaws. Continuing to judge yourself or be mean to yourself won’t get you anywhere. You deserve to give yourself grace and compassion. And exploring your sexuality is just part of life. People I don’t talk to anymore have risqué photos I’ve sent them. My OCD has wanted to latch on to that too. This feeling will pass, and try to be kind to yourself.
@MichelleV Yes, I agree. OCD loves to make us feel like we have to be perfect, and it also labels things about ourselves as “flaws” or “bad” to make us feel worse. Try to see this guilt and shame as part of OCD’s game
Feeling like a bad person has always been one of my reoccurring struggles with OCD. I’m working through trauma therapy at the moment and recognizing a lot of stuck points, and connecting a lot dots in relation to my OCD. But I feel like even if I make a small mistake or mess up, I can’t give myself grace - and I assume I’m an awful person. Obviously, my realistic self reassures me I would never intentionally hurt someone or have malicious intentions in situations. But sometimes I go round and round, and even think the only reason I think or want to be a good person is because I’m scared of being a bad person? I know that doesn’t make sense but it fucks with me and I’m sure only this group would understand. Anyway, today for example: I got sorta mad at my bf because he was trying to smack my butt and accidentally hit my back. And I said “ouch, stop - you got my back.” - in literally the least menacing way. And we laughed it off and he felt bad. And then I just couldn’t help myself from apologizing to him because I felt like I overreacted somehow. He seemed very confused and was so sweet about it. But I just felt like I overreacted, and I told him that I felt gross - I was trying to prepare food and it caught me off guard. And he was like “no yeah, that makes total sense - you literally don’t have to explain yourself or apologize at all!”. But I just got into this weird mood now, where I’m convincing myself I’m a bad person and a bad partner. And he should be with someone who is truly the sweetest person ever and beautiful to add on to the obsession. Sometimes I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not a bad person but sometimes the OCD itself is very annoying. I feel like this wave has passed, and I’ve worked a lot on grounding myself and bringing myself to reality. Which is great! But I would really love to know if anyone else struggles with this kind of thing and what helps them in these times?
I am almost 18 right now and when I was 16 and under I did some horrible things I regret and make me feel like a bad person. I won’t go into detail but stuff people would find weird/hate me for. I am quite popular on social media and I see people getting cancelled so much on TikTok for things I used to do. It scares me. I acknowledge that what I did was bad and don’t do it anymore/havent done it again but the things still haunt me :(. I imagine scenarios of being cancelled and being infamous and everybody hating me. The stuff I did was because I was immature/didn’t really know it was wrong but I still feel like such a shitty person. I really want to be a good person and try to and whenever I try to think “I’m a good person” my ocd cancels it by reminding me of all the stuff I have done and I can’t call myself a good person. It also affects my boyfriend as well and my ocd latches onto him being imperfect. He has done things wrong/ things that have upset me, but my ocd takes this and uses it to show me “he’s a bad person” and we are both “problematic” I’m currently obsessing over it.
❌❌❌DO NOT READ IF YOURE YOUNGER ❌❌❌ —- — - I feel like a really bad person right now, I remember my past and I remember when I was 14, I sent actual inappro//priate pictures of myself to my partner and I regret it so much, i genuinely do, I thought it was okay because I was around adults that were inappropriate to me, and it was so normalized, I don’t know why, I feel like I’m gonna go to jail, this happened 2 years ago but I still feel afraid that I will be in jail for what I’ve done, I can’t stop worrying about this event and I just need help, please someone help, am I a bad person?
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