Sometimes I’m super in love with my boyfriend but then randomly my ocd jumps in and goes “your faking it all and forcing yourself to stay” and so then I start to believe that and kinda go numb with my feelings and it freaks me out and I feel like it’s not normal.
i’ve only recently started doing this too. do you like over analyze him too and his face and almost find him unattractive or weird? my mind will seek that out for me personally and it sucks
@zoloftchick Usually it doesn’t really have much to do much with him it’s always me just doubting how I feel
@Secretidentity no yeah but do those doubts make you question your attraction to him or over analyze him
@zoloftchick Yes. Sometimes
@zoloftchick Yep literally what I go through, I can’t help it. It’s like I’m subconsciously checking if I’m attracted to him. I’m sorry you go through this too
No one is completely drop dead in love with their partner every second of every day. People with OCD pay waaaayyyyyy more attention to every little thought they have, especially the negative ones. Maybe you are in love, maybe you aren’t. Time will tell. My first OCD therapist said to follow your heart when you can’t trust your brain.
@Slicey Ugh I know the whole maybe thing is to sit with the uncertainty but I hate it so much
@Secretidentity You can do it. It gets easier the more you practice.
@Slicey I’m litterally just starting i just got diagnosed so it’s been tough.
@Slicey It kinda feels like I’m always gonna feel this way but I know I won’t
@Secretidentity I was just diagnosed in September after a 3 year spiral. I was hospitalized in September after a suicide attempt, finally got diagnosed, started proper treatment and was able to go back to work this week. ERP works - I am living proof of that. Your OCD will always be in the background. Once you get the hang of ERP, you’ll be able to catch the thoughts quickly and let them pass. The strategy that works for me is to agree with the thoughts, no matter how awful they are. They pass almost instantly. And yes, I have harm and POCD, so I’m not just agreeing with nice thoughts about organizing office supplies.
@Slicey It just hurts so bad to even say they are maybe true. I mean it’s helped a lot the frequency of them is far less then it was but it’s just hard and something I need to keep working at.
@Secretidentity Remember they are garbage thoughts. They aren’t how you really feel. Agreeing with them is just a strategy to move them along so you can get back to the real you and your real life, it’s not accepting them as your morals or values. For example, I have thoughts of killing my husband and son or sticking my head in the oven. I think YES, of course I want to do those things. Why haven’t I done them already? I love those things for me. And the thoughts pass.
@Slicey I think im gonna try that and see how that helps. I’m just afraid if I agree with them they will become true. Even tho deep down I know they arnt me and arnt what I feel or want.
@Secretidentity Give it a try. You’re already scared and miserable so it really can’t get much worse, right? Let me know how it goes.
@Slicey Your right. I will
@Slicey Sorry to bother you again but how do you follow your heart or I guess really how do you know what your heart is saying. Because all I hear is my mind. I feel like because I’m still with him that my heart is telling me to stay and that’s what it is saying but I never really understood how to know what your heart is saying.
@Secretidentity OCD is loud and obnoxious for sure. Do you / have you had times when your OCD was quiet? How do you feel about your boyfriend during those times? That’s what you should listen to.
@Slicey I do have times when my ocd is quiet I think. Idk if it’s ever truly silent other than when I’m focused on something like work or school. But I’ve noticed that when it’s atleast quieted down that I’ll catch myself thinking about him in such a positive light and thinking about what we are gonna do together next time I see him and when I’m gonna see him and all I wanna do is text or call him or just physically be there with him and then I’ll notice I’m thinking about him and then my ocd pops in to say hi.
@Secretidentity There’s your answer!
@Slicey So my heart speaks when my ocd calms down?
@Secretidentity I would say you can hear it more clearly when your OCD calms down
Is it possible for OCD to start playing with your feelings? Because I'm so sure about it, but sometimes it feels like it doesn't even when I don't feel anything. And I'm feeling so empty. Like it's okay to feel when it's not. I don't want to feel this. But I feel so weak to deal with it. Is this normal? I'm feeling weird. Everything kind of hurts but at the same time it doesn't.
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
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