OCD

I’m just so tired of OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’m at the point where I don’t know if I can handle this anymore. I feel like all I can think about is bad thoughts that aren’t true, and it’s wearing my soul down. I love my family and friends but my mind keeps telling me I hate them or that I want to hurt them or leave them. I don’t want to die but I can’t keep living like this anymore. I’m in so much pain some days that I just want it to end. I don’t understand why God would make me suffer so much when I’m so blessed with everything I have. I keep hearing that God is merciful and that he has a plan for us, a good plan, but how I can believe that when my soul hurts so bad. Everything in my life is perfect except me. Maybe I’m just not meant to be happy. I used to be so anxious that I believed I would never make it to adulthood, but now that I’m an adult I don’t know what to do. I never dreamed of the future because I believed I never had one. I still feel the same way. I’m just going through the motions every day because I feel I have no purpose. Sometimes it feels like I’m only alive because my family loves me and I don’t want to hurt them with my death. Sometimes I crave the thought of alcohol and drugs because I wish I could numb myself. Sometimes I wonder if my family would let me go if they knew how much my mind haunts me. I don’t know what I’m living for except my family and the hope it’ll get better, but I’m running out of hope. I just wish it would stop, that I could have some peace. I want peace so damn bad. I sleep as much as I can because it’s the only time my mind is quiet. I’m missing out on my life because sleeping is one of my only sources of peace. I’m missing out on time with my family because my mind won’t leave me alone. I know it can get better but I don’t know if I can wait any longer. I’m losing my mind and sometimes I wish I could go to another world to escape it, but it wouldn’t matter. No matter where I go, my mind will never give me peace. It will always fight me. What should I do? Should I tell my family about this? I don’t want to bother them because the holidays are close and maybe this is just another depressive episode. Idk. I just need some advice.

Yup157

Date posted: 35w

The biggest enemy is yourself my friend. First of all, I want you to know I'm writing this message for YOU and I'm taking time outta my night just for you. I want you to know killing urself is a thought you don't want to have and you obviously know that. You have something to live for, everyone does. Either it's god, ur family, or even for you. Have some fun in ur life, change up routines, try something different with urself. Ah sticking with the old same old stuff doesn't work for me personally and maybe it could help you to. All I want you to do is reply to this and tell me what u like to do, just that. It can be anything, what makes you smile?

boppy5173@ao...

Date posted: 35w

My ocd is under control through medication , therapy and biofeedback.. my ocd used to be out of control. I don’t know if you ever gotten better from this but know if you have that this feeling is not forever. The best way to keep yourself from depression and ocd is to constant keep yourself busy. Don’t give you mind time to think of all this nonsense cause that’s what it all is is nonsense.. OCD is the doubting disease.. one thing I learned is not to avoid getting thought but let them come and laugh about it. The more fear you get the more they’ll thoughts will come back.. Fear gives the OCD power. I’m telling you every time I felt depressed and had OCD I felt that’s it this is my life and it’s horrible. But I have to remember all those times that I’ve gotten better and felt 1000x better. It’s almost like being born again. You start to appreciate even the smallest things like how beautiful the fall is. Don’t give up and remember this is a disease and it doesn’t define you as a person . Good luck to you and hope you find peace and happiness real soon. 🙏

Dranagrace24

Date posted: 35w

I know your family loves and cares about you and I think they would want to know about this and help you through it….hugs and prayers 🫂

Adi7

Date posted: 17w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

izenap

Date posted: 5w

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i feel depressed. i’m so tired of living with constant guilt, fear, and pain. i feel so lost and lifeless. i feel like i’m not living for myself anymore. i'm so done with my life. i really hate myself. it’s all my fault. everything that goes wrong and everything that keeps happening to me is all my fault. i feel sorry for the people who have me in their lives. they don’t deserve someone like me. this world doesn’t deserve a person like me. i can’t do this anymore. every night, i keep crying. i just don’t want to wake up the next morning, yet i keep waking up. for me, another day is another suffering. i hate myself so much. i don’t deserve anything good. i hate my really bad and dark thoughts, and i can’t tell whether they are truly mine or not. the guilt is eating me alive, and i feel hopeless and undeserving of forgiveness. my family doesn’t know about my struggles, and i don’t want them to. i don’t want to be a burden or make them feel like they failed as parents. i don’t want to make their lives any harder. i just hate my religious ocd. sometimes i think i’m just making it an excuse. i feel sorry for God and Jesus for being this kind of person. i wish i wasn’t born into this world. i can’t continue living like this. i feel like i’m going insane. i’m just accepting that i’m horrible, and that all those bad thoughts are mine. that i'm disrespectful and a terrible person. i'm not suicidal. i’m just so tired of living like this. i'm not expecting happiness or anything good because i don’t deserve any of it. i feel like a disgusting person. i hate that someone like me still has the courage to show up every day around other people. i deserve all the pain and to drown in it. i just want to vent about what i really feel right now because it feels so heavy and unbearable. i don’t want to make others’ lives miserable or hurt God anymore.

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