- Date posted
- 38w
I feel scared :/
Hi everyone, I’m really struggling with something right now, and I wanted to share it in case anyone else can relate, and also to remind myself that I’m not alone. I’m a 16-year-old dealing with OCD, and lately, it’s been taking a huge toll on me. I’ve been feeling really anxious about something that happened when I was browsing videos out of curiosity. I made sure to overanalyze every video I watched to make sure the people in them looked like adults, and everything seemed consensual. I was really careful to only watch videos where I felt like the people were clearly adults, and the situation seemed appropriate. I’ve been too scared to go on other sites like Pornhub because I’m afraid of finding things that are just too much for me or that could be harmful. So, I trusted YouTube because it felt like a safer place to explore my curiosity. However, I recently found out that some of the videos I watched got taken down because they went against YouTube’s guidelines for nudity or sexual content. Now, I’m freaking out because I’m terrified that maybe the videos were taken down because they involved younger minors, maybe even a 12-year-old, and I didn’t realize it. I know it sounds really random, but OCD is making me feel like I’ve done something terrible. I keep overthinking and questioning whether I missed something or if I accidentally watched something inappropriate, even though I made sure that the people in the videos looked like adults. The fear that there might have been someone younger involved is stressing me out so much. It’s causing so much anxiety, and I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong, and I didn’t want to see anything bad, but I’m just so scared right now. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice on how to deal with these intrusive thoughts, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I just want to feel like I’m not crazy :/