SO-OCD and physical reactions

I have been dealing with SO-OCD for the past couple months. I’ve made a lot of progress! This theme has caused me to really be in tune with my feelings and I know im a straight woman. My issue is that I still have the intrusive thoughts, which I understand is granted, but it’s cause physical reactions. At first it started as groinal responses and anxiety which were terrifying, but since I question myself less the intrusive thoughts cause me to physically cringe and or feel sick. I took advice from Reddit saying that if I envisioned myself being intimate with the same sex and you like it then you’re gay, if you don’t then you’re not. Well sure enough I don’t like it lol. The envisioning of this has now caused me to, flinch, cringe and sometimes want to throw up. Does this ensure my feelings and does anyone else go through this? I want the intrusive thoughts to go away. Especially since I’m not homophobic and so I can go back to daydreaming without those thoughts ruining them lol.

Feelinghope

Date posted: 37w

I am going through the same thing and am so happy to hear that you have made a lot of progress!

Pushingpissed

Date posted: 36w

Thank you so much, you got this! I still through the up and downs of it, but it’s getting better.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 37w

Just remember that the physical sensations are just the same as the intrusive thoughts. JUST THE SAME! So treat them the same way. Let me explain. With intrusive thoughts, we tell ourselves “If you are here, then fine. If you are not here, then fine. You can also stay all day if you want to.” It doesn’t matter, because intrusive thoughts are meaningless, and it doesn’t matter if they are there or not. The same thing is true with physical sensations. They can be there if they want. They can go away or stay all day. It doesn’t matter. They are just like intrusive thoughts. They are meaningless, and you just have to accept that they will be there. But don’t worry about them.

Pushingpissed

Date posted: 36w

Thank you for the advice! I’m wondering should I be fighting the thoughts away or just letting them stay? I feel like if I let them stay I’ll start to like them or influence me I guess. I know they’re meaningless but sometimes it’s overbearing.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 36w

@Pushingpissed Don’t ever fight the thoughts. This is very important for OCD recovery. ERP therapy trains us to never fight the thoughts. If you try to fight them off, they’re just going to get worse. My therapist explained it like this: Imagine a tree planted by river. The leaves from the tree fall off and float down the river. You watch the leaves fall, but you don’t try to stop them. You just let them float down the river. This is the same with ALL intrusive thoughts. It doesn’t matter if these are bad thoughts about God, violence, sex, attractions, etc. All intrusive thoughts are the SAME. You just let them fall off the tree and float down the river. Here’s another analogy: Imagine a swarm of angry bees around someone’s head. The bees can’t really bite or sting, but they are very annoying as they swarm around someone’s head. They’re not really harmful to the person, but they are disturbing just because they are there. This is the same thing as the intrusive thoughts. They can’t really harm anything, and they don’t have any real power. But they are distracting and disturbing because they are there. If you take a stick and try to fight them off, they’re just going to swarm around even worse and get even stronger. It doesn’t work to try to fight them off with a stick. They will always keep swarming. In the same way, we can’t fight off the intrusive thoughts. It’s impossible. Besides, the thoughts are meaningless, and they can’t hurt anything anyway. So don’t try to fight them off. Your OCD will try to trick you into giving “meaning” to the thoughts by saying maybe you will like them or maybe you will accept them, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah. Don’t listen to the OCD. Practice strict ERP no matter how you feel and no matter how the OCD tries to tell you the danger you’re in if you start ignoring the thoughts. The truth is the thoughts don’t mean anything, so you can ignore them. You can’t make them go away (like the bees), but you can give them no power by acknowledging that they are meaningless.

Pushingpissed

Date posted: 36w

@Tea and Honey - This was VERY eye opening so thank you so much!!! I’ll try being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Thank you again for the help.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 36w

@Pushingpissed Yes!!!! That’s exactly right!!!! Be comfortable with being uncomfortable!!!!

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 29w

@Pushingpissed Girlll heyyy, how is your so-ocd now??

RW95

Date posted: 19w

Has anyone gone through this, or currently going through it, need to know that I am not alone in this (18+)

I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!

ncopas

Date posted: 8w

SO-OCD flare up

i'm a lesbian, i was sure of this for many years, until soocd started messing with me around a month ago. it's hard because lesbians with soocd aren't well documented and it's hard to find similar experiences from others. i hate this, my mind is telling me it's not ocd and that i actually like men. i don't even know if i wouldn't like it. i guess that's accepting uncertainty but i don't want to like men. i want to marry my girlfriend. i don't want to be with a man but my mind doesn't let me feel anything regarding that, neither good nor bad, and i cannot tell if i enjoy that thought or don't like it. it's horrible. i'm so exhausted. i get groinal reactions too which i've never even had before this subtype flared up because im on the asexual spectrum. it's insane. has anyone else had any similar experiences?

evasprog

Date posted: 7w

New sort of intrusive thought

Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay

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SO-OCD and physical reactions

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