- Date posted
- 31w
Emotional Shopping
I've noticed this past year that I sometimes really struggle with emotional shopping. I'm not always sure if it's impulsive or compulsive buying. I'm also grieving the death of my mlm, so I think it's a little bit of both. Sometimes I shop so that I can be around people and not feel alone. I also shop because I love the sensory experience of certain stores. It's fun to look at colorful things, spell the perfume section, hear the soft music, and touch the soft clothes. I like to admire the beauty and craftsmanship of things. I wish there were more museums and galleries where I live, because I think that shopping kind of scratches that itch. What I hate though is when my brain gets a sticky thought and I decided I need a specific item. I'll feel frozen because I want to make the "correct" decision. For example, if I decide I need a pair of nice work shoes or a pair of jeans, my brain obsesses on finding the best pair for the best price. I will not be able to focus on things. My brain gets stuck on "needing" to find the best deal and most optimal item. Sometimes I'll get a sticky thought about an item I genuinely don't need (i.e. a pair of pink sparkley Betsy Johnson heels). If I get one of these sticky thoughts and then buy the unnecessary heels, then I end up making a poor financial decision. Eventhough I want the pink heels or the New Balance Running shoes (a "useful" item) and I technically have enough money to buy them without going into debt, I struggle to have the self control to wait and spread out my purchases. I struggle to find balance. I really hate it. It sucks. It usually happens when my nervous system is feeling all over the place and I don't feel grounded. I struggle with hoarding disorder and I've been trying to be gentle with myself when I get discouraged. I try to thrift and not shop online because I notice that it generally makes me feel happier. It also helps my bank account not suffer as much.