I'm so scared. People always say that it doesn't matter what sexuality you actually are, but I feel like I am/ will turn gay and have to leave my husband. It's been destroying my life for the last 5 years.
I understand your condition, but it is better to consult a doctor, believe me, this is the best decision you can make now. and you will feel better)
Hey! I’ve been struggeling with SOOCD for 5 + years ans just wanted to let you know I know hard it is and I am also in a relationship for 7 years. Try to sit in the moment and not think about the future! What matters is that you’re happy now and whatever happens in the future you’ll cross that bridge when you get there! Im not even gonna dig in and ask you how it started or of you ever anything before because to would feed your OCD!
@Anonymousesti Pls help pls i feel helpless and your comment made me hope for some guidance pls do.. i would be grateful
@Anonymousesti Hey this is so similar to me - it comes in waves and is so scary- because it has been there so long that’s how it convinves me it may be real
@Anonymous - yeah I really get that... I can't even find guys attractive anymore and since I was never the "boy crazy girl" in high school and I used to choose who I wanted to have a crush on it really sucks because it really feels true. What I try to remember is that sexuality is a spectrum and if you're happy with your bf right now that is all that matters. Everyone loves differently!
I feel like evryone is saying yeah the worst part is not knowing what my actual sexuality is however for me its like not that but more about being another sexuality and not being able to be with my bf because "my body and my truth are stronger then my will to stay with my bf". I also have the fear of SOOCD ending up being true or for example and more specifically liking it and never going back to men... I dont know if anyone relates to that, let me know!
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
Due to the experience I’m having with SOOCD… The false attraction to same gender and loss of attraction to opposite gender gender, I havnt been intimate with my wife for a while. Really struggling and it makes me just want to end it to be honest. Last night my wife and I had a argument about not being intimate and she said ‘you might as well be gay’ Well that put me in a horrendous spiral. I havnt slept and my anxiety is so high my chest feels like it’s crushing in. I’ve sweat all night. She doesn’t know what she’s done as she doesn’t really know about all my issues.
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