Literally have been so confident in myself and my sexuality through recovery. Right now I literally feel like I changed from straight and in love with my boyfriend to either bisexual / lesbian with a ādesireā to do sexual things with women in the last 2 hours. It feels like Iām attracted to every single woman on my tik tok and instagram. Whyyyyyyyy ššš
This makes me laugh because it happens to me so often šš
@dianasjourney Thatās real lol youāll be confident with ur desires and attractions then out of nowhere
@dianasjourney Same. It just hasnāt been this extreme for me in sooo long! And then I scroll looking for evidence and checking until I feel numb and better š„² 3 hours later
@LV4523 How about you donāt check? And just keep on doing what you were doing before the anxiety kicked in? I noticed that thereās a spike in anxiety and if you stay long enough with it is goes away or goes back to the background
@dianasjourney Youāre so right and I know thatās what I should do! Iām just starting to feel like something is wrong with me and itās not ocd. Like I resist compulsions and sit with anxiety but something will still feel āoffā or like Iāll passively engage with the thoughts still. This makes me feel like Iām the exception and I know thatās not true!!
@LV4523 I feel like something is not normal about me ever since this stupid episode started. I feel off most of the time even if there no intrusions arise
@dianasjourney Ugh me too. We will get through this!
@LV4523 I hope so! It just finds such creative ways of being sneakyā¦
@dianasjourney Yes! It changes so much. One day I will be so triggered by ultra feminine women, the next itās masculine women, the next itās about my childhood, etc. and I realize the previous worry was dumb once im worrying about something else or until it comes back.
@LV4523 Oh yes absolutely!!
@LV4523 Legit me today! Literally was day dreaming about my boyfriend and I and then an intrusive image came in. Literally was so confident and sometimes I get hit with that thought and itās like why ocd š
@krelia My OCD used to immediately give me an intrusive image or thought (SOOCD) when thinking of my man
@dianasjourney Itās so annoying!! Iāve had this crap for a year and a half almost and am ready for it to go
@krelia Oh big same just to go away one way or another
@dianasjourney Exactly!!
@krelia Iāve had it for a year and a half also and need it to go! š I feel you girl
@LV4523 Oh my goodness!! So glad to know Iām not alone
I know how you feel but this is all OCD and the most you can do is the rp method
It's not strange that up until now it's been like you've been used to being straight and if you saw a woman who looked good or just a woman, you didn't click with her and you didn't get anxious, but when a Intrusive thoughts and arguments with yourself get stronger and stronger, and when you see a woman live or on TikTok who looks good, anxiety, fear, and the intrusive thoughts immediately come.This is a sign that what you are feeling and how you are right now is all OCD, I know it's pretty scary and I live in it.
It's like he's trying to change your personality into something you don't want to be and don't like, it's weird, like he has some kind of personality disorder.
I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore
I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.
I donāt know if itās SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and itās like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I donāt want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I havenāt been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I donāt want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
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