once I make a decision about something and go forth with it and can’t undo it (e.g tell someone something etc) my mind won’t shut up about what if that’s the wrong choice and oh you’re gonna be regret that?!? It happens so much and so frequently that it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD or not….anyone else struggle with this or know how to calm down from it?
I can relate. I am dealing with this right now. To make a good decision I try to make a pro and con list . And to the extent possible I try to make a decision based on that . The problem is even after that I find myself wondering about the two options. I try to gently bring myself back to the original decision. What I find especially difficult is when the stakes are relatively high in what I am deciding on . A lot of times there are ZERO perfect outcomes and having to often pick the lesser of two evils is especially disconcerting. There is always some level of uncertainty even in the best scenarios. And what I find is making no decision on something becomes a decision in itself.
@777Q I understand, it’s so hard to accept and feel calm about never knowing if something’s the right decision…just wish it was easier being okay with whatever we choose, thank you for your comment and insight, hope your next decision is an easy one.
Accept it fully and truly for what it is. Seeing it rather than interacting with it. It's harder said than done when you're head is clouded, I'd suggest a journal so it's out of your head and you can observe the memory or feelings properly and clearly.
@Wolfram yes thank you for your advice :) journaling does sound like a good way to get it out of my head and on paper.
@learningtorecover It helps me a surprising amount
@Wolfram I’m glad it does, thankyou for the idea :)
@Wolfram Hows it going buddy. For me personally writing a journal is a major trigger . Part of my OCD is endless writing everything down . I am needing to get away from writing stuff down.
@777Q Then you know what you need to do for erp 😊
@Wolfram Interesting 🧐. Even though that is obvious, I never thought of it for ERP . Not sure 🤔 how I would attempt that one .
@777Q even though I do think @Wolfram ‘s advice is great with journaling, I struggle with writing everything down in a compulsive, I have to write this down so I don’t forget how this happened etc etc way! that’s why I’ve havnt done it, how does one just simply journal about their day and not compulsively write down each moment?
@learningtorecover oops meant to add that I understand what @777Q means with writing being a trigger too.
@learningtorecover You are dealing with very similar issues. I need to try to find your posts on here , we can help and support each other.
@777Q yes, it’s always helpful to find people with similar themes/issues with ocd
@777Q Just don't write stuff
@Wolfram Here is where it gets more involved: let me give 2 examples. If I was going to a doctor appointment I prepare with a list that starts out reasonably for the appointment but where does it all end ? Here is another example if I was planning a trip need a list of sorts , same thing where do things end . Hard to gauge as to what is within reason and what is too much, like ruminating, perfection and so on ????
@777Q It's weird when something rational is intertwined with rational things isn't it? Was a huge thing to get around with my moral stuff 😞
Learning - I just followed you .
@777Q just saw that! I followed you back
Additionally I deal with Pure -O that adds another dimension to all this with the mental list making. That is why I write things down.
does anyone else get flashbacks of things they’ve seen due to giving into their compulsion??? whenever i’m having a remotely normal time or having fun or thinking of making a big decision i have flashes of videos or pictures or just made up scenarios that are related to horrible things i’ve seen and compulsively watched and did stuff with. it immediately kills my mood and makes me ruminate about it and i think about it over and over. i find myself wondering if ocd drew me to do those things or if it was genuine attraction. what if im a horrible monster who’s into awful and illegal and morally wrong stuff??? what if im using ocd to cover it up and it’s not ocd it’s just i thing i was into??? these thoughts are never ending and show up at the worst times. i’m terrified all the time. it renders me sick & unable to make any decision because i’m afraid if i choose to do so it’ll make everybody aware of the things child me/young teenage me did. it feels like all my past traumas and experiences are being blasted on a jumbotron. i’m even scared to post this. again does anyone else know what i mean + does anyone know how to “get over” this feeling/any tips???
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
I'm really struggling to figure out where my OCD ends and where I begin. I’m scared of most things—not in a panicky way, but in a deep, cautious, worst-case-scenario kind of way. Example: I haaaaaaaaate my spectacles. I’d love to do Lasik, or even just wear contacts, but the idea terrifies me. I’ve heard about the tiniest risk of blindness or infection, and once that thought is in my head, it takes over. I picture the worst, and then I don’t act. TRIGGER Also Lasik involves cutting TRIGGER which petrifies me. I’m stuck between wanting change and being too afraid to make it. The same goes with wanting to travel but being scared I'll be trafficked or someone will plant something in my bag & I'll get arrested overseas. No amount of praying will fix it. Does anyone else feel like their OCD makes them freeze in everyday decisions? Like you can’t tell if you're just being practical or if it's the OCD gripping the steering wheel again? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's not OCD but my personality, that's what I'm trying to figure out.
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