- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have an 11 month old. I had POCD very badly around 4 years ago. *trigger warning* I was very suicidal when I had it the first time. I didn’t even understand it had anything to do with OCD and I didn’t think I could live like that. I pushed through those extremely dark times because of a family member with special needs who I don’t think could comprehend death. Here I am, a happy mother of a beautiful baby, and POCD is sometimes, at worst a fleeting thought but most of the time doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. Once I identified it as a fear instead of a “secret desire” I wasn’t scared of it anymore because I knew I was only thinking about it because it was something I was scared of vs something I wanted to think of.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know it’s not that easy, but I went through an extremely hard year I didn’t think I would survive through and here I am 4 years later very minimally affected and a mother. I was able to move on, I think 100% it’s possible. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I hope you find some relief from those intrusive ocd thoughts. That’s never any fun
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@treehouse Thank you so much! I always wanted kids and have a family and ever since I had my first intrusive thought I was scared that it would never happen. Hearing your story gives me hope! Again thank you?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@treehouse I also was suicidal when I first had my intrusive thoughts. In my mind I rather die than hurt a child like that.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have the same thing! When I am cleaning and changing my son that’s when my intrusive thoughts come in. I become fearful and start questioning why and how and how times I clean his private area. It’s a compulsion not that we are pedophile and it was done with no sexual intent. It’s POCD! It’s tricky because obviously you have to clean the child which require touching, however OCD will have over doing it, avoiding it, cleaning extra wondering why you did it and was for sexual reasons. It’s not! It’s anxiety and OCD. We are good people and we can let anxiety from keeping us from taking care of one another particular our kids or nieces ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much! You’re right when I first had intrusive thoughts I didn’t want to go near my nieces thinking I was protecting them but I was only feeding the ocd. I am glad I am not alone
- Date posted
- 5y ago
This gives me so much relief I've wanted to be a mom my whole life but when pocd hit I was so scared that I wasn't meant to be ? thank you guys so much for sharing your stories ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you for your comment. The more people who talk about it gives me more hope that I am not alone and that I am not a bad person. We will both be great moms?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I talked to my wife about it and the anxiety all went away.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am happy to hear that! I am happy to hear things are better for you! Thank you again for sharing your story
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I was sitting down and my child wanted me tl hug her. She extended her arms. I leaned in and hugged her but my pocd freaks out says “dont brush up lr do anything inappropriate. Dont thrust my hips”. I leaned in and hugged her. I had these intrusive thoughts and worries. I hugged her still and i think i did compulsions to avoid these pocd and intrusive thoughts. I moved on and now im habing doubts and false memories on the details. I know as i hugged her i worried about brushing up or hips thrusting and i was anxious and uncomfortable. I known its ocd. I still hugged my child. Despite ocd discomfort. I thought i felt my body react like a hip thrust twitch or maybe its just in my head. I dont want to hip thrust. Thats why my mind was freaking out worrying about it when she asked for anhug. My therapist said my ocd and anxiety and these intrusive thiughts can cause my body to involuntarily react and do those things my ocd is obssessing over like hip thrusting or twitches or groinals down there.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 29d ago
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
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