I really don’t know what my “normal” state is anymore ... at this point I feel like I’m just going through the Motions

Never avoid anything with OCD, it means you are buying into the thoughts and validating their importance....ok for instance...let's take just one thought as an experiment....if for example you touched a door handle and wanted to immediately wash your hand because of germs.....so your anxiety would be 100%....your anxiety can never stay at that level....if I said ok you can wash your hand but only after one week until such time you must sit with your anxiety...I will guarantee it would slowly loose it's importance over time and by the end of the week you would've forgotten why you needed to wash your hands, you may have been sent other OCD thoughts in the mean time to replace this one, but if you apply the same method to these your anxiety levels will drop and your tolerance to these thoughts will grow.....

Would you like to elaborate more friend ?

What is normal.....normal to you maybe eccentric to another....just be you friend....

Nobody can be happy with OCD because it's doesn't allow you to be happy... because it needs control of you....

Yeah ocd is making me unhappy

So like I constantly try to just go about my days and enjoy the days without letting the thoughts get to me. However I’m aware I’m always thinking about existence and life in general. I’m always trying to figure out how to feel better and just feel normal. But the scary thoughts and feelings come back. It’s almost as if I’m trying to just avoid everything in general

I guess I’m just overthinking?? I have no idea. Then again I’m taking this medicine right now that might not be helping my anxiety at all

I just want to stop overthinking so much that’s all I’m trying to feel calm but in general I’m always always thinking and going deeper into my thoughts

So is it considered a compulsion if I keep trying to figure out why I’m anxious? Or like why I’m triggered?? It’s like I can’t stop thinking about it. Because if I stop I guess that means that I’ll act on it? If that makes sense

If you except them as thoughts, because that is all they are, they only become important if you act upon these thought, you then give them validation and make them more than just thoughts....if you don't act upon the thought over time it will be replaced by another....but give the new thought exactly the same attention.....we have thousands of thoughts each day for OCD suffers some get stuck in a loop and by NOT reacting they too will eventually disappear....it's about trying to regain control of yourself rather than allowing OCD to bully you.