ocd1101

Date posted: 27w

Please help, I feel so alone with this!

I am 26, and l've had sexual OCD all my life without noticing. I thought the thoughts were my own and I explored them. Not I have finally found the answer to my hypersexuality, which is OCD. I was obsessed with one specific act and now I'm left with the memories of a crippling porn addiction. Please someone tell me I'm not alone that mistook OCD as own desires growing up. I simply didn't know any better. How can I stop beating myself up about it?

moon🌞

Date posted: 27w

oh my god! this is totally true. since i was so little i had all these urges to watch lesbian porn or watch women or anything, but i would always feel so gross and anxious after. i then learned that fantasies and thoughts are not reflective of your sexuality at all! it’s all just whatever gets you turned on in the moment also i struggle with being afraid of being gay even though i know i am not. i only have ever liked men and still do. i have a boyfriend and the idea of being with a woman is a hard no for me… but that doesn’t mean ocd won’t try to convince you other wise! don’t give up it’s just the ocd! you’re not alone

ocd1101

Date posted: 27w

@moon🌞 can we please talk I’m suffering so much!

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

@moon🌞 Omg me too!! The fact that I watched this porn at a young age is my biggest trigger but when I truly think back to it I was almost like forcing myself to watch jt?? Like yes it was arousing, but I would feel so gross after it and I would have to scroll and scroll to find the “perfect” video and never really liked it that much. It’s so weird but I totally relate to you!

moon🌞

Date posted: 27w

@LV4523 so happy i’m not alone! i get so scared bc i know i am straight but it’s so triggering

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

@moon🌞 Me too, it really is. My therapist helped me think of it from a different perspective that was at first triggering but now I understand. Almost like “well you explored that part of your sexuality through videos but never wanted to act on it then or now. So what does that tell you?”

ocd1101

Date posted: 27w

@LV4523 So you have also explored the intrusive thoughts? I’ve had gay fantasies and watched corn and I’m scared it means anything about myself. That’s the reason I’m anxious and depressed.

moon🌞

Date posted: 27w

@ocd1101 it definitely does not! just bc a fantasy exists (or existed) does not mean you want to act on it!

ocd1101

Date posted: 27w

@moon🌞 In my past I did act on it by watching corn. I’ve had all sorts of bizarre fantasies and I have the type of OCD where I get the Groinal whenever triggering words, sounds, smell or situations happen in real life, and I mistook that as real desire. Thanks Moon, I feel so seen. Is there any way to chat? ..

moon🌞

Date posted: 27w

@ocd1101 sure but also like don’t forget

moon🌞

Date posted: 27w

@ocd1101 all your ocd is doing is lying to you! you are not gay!!! don’t worry (not to reassure) but just remember

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

@ocd1101 I never had fantasies I just watched same sex porn when I was younger

ocd1101

Date posted: 27w

@LV4523 Well I don’t know why i had those fantasies. It could’ve been OCD.

DaredevilOfD...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

You're definetly not alone, as hypersexuality/ sexual OCD is one of the things I struggle with all the time. In fact, my PMO addiction is one of the reasons my OCD manifested because the more toxic dopamine I consumed, the more my anxiety started rising. I dont want to share the kind of thoughts I had to prevent your OCD from thinking the same thing but I struggled a lot with false memory OCD and sexual intrusive thoughts all the time. It took me about 2 years to be more comfortable with these thoughts, because there is nothing we can do to stop these thoughts from popping up, but from my time journaling my own OCD, the main reasons why these thoughts manifest, at least for me, is because I have a lot of anxiety, low self esteem, and because I keep relapsing to it. Through time, however, I became more courageous and unafraid, simply because I recognize when these thoughts pop up, the kind of cycle anxiety takes and recognizing how my anxiety "swings" throughout the day. You definetly dont have to beat yourself up about it because everyone has sexual intrusive thoughts or struggles with some form of lust. I also didnt know that my hypersexuality came in the form of my OCD. Im 23 myself and I've been there. However, If I became a lot better, then you can too. Don't let your anxiety/hypersexuality control you. Just because you indulge in toxic addictions doesnt mean you'll act out, but definetly, try to overcome it. Canopy is a really good app to use to block corn addiction. Also, try to become more familiar with your anxiety. Think of it as a city that youre trying to learn the streets, to prevent you from getting lost. It will really help in the long run. I highly recommend to try to overcome the addiction, because It will help a lot with OCD

Parker_b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

Sexual Real event ocd.

Getting eaten alive by thoughts right now, when I was a child me and other kids around my age would experiment and do things we shouldn’t have, I’m talking very young, like 3-5 as I got older I was for whatever reason always curious to a horrible extent and it lead me to do in appropriate things to kids around me, I was 7-8 at the time. I would say it happened 3 times in total in my childhood. And i eventually told my parents the last time it happened because even though I didn’t know it at the time. I had ocd. And I knew it was bad. That was when it all started. I feel absolutely disgusted with my 7 year old self and it comes up every once in a while especially when I hear anything about sexual abuse. I’m nearly 20 now and I enjoy my life for the most part and I’ve been down the ocd path before but I feel unforgivable. And I never want to tell anyone about it, but my ocd seems to want that. I have a beautiful girlfriend that had some traumatic things happen to her and I love her with my soul. I don’t ever want that to come up. Because that’s not who I am. When will I be able to forgive myself? If at all I hope I’m not alone.

Real Events OCD

Derickk

Date posted: 24w

Past mistakes and regrets.

TW: Abuse/Pocd Im feeling really hopeless right now. I have an extensive history of sexual abuse, neglect, physical and emotional abuse as well and a significant amount of trauma from my childhood. I didn’t get any help until my late teens. During this time period I was an incredibly troubled child/teenager and I made a ton of really bad decisions that go against all my morals and values now as a grown adult. I feel like I messed up so bad I don’t deserve to recover. I don’t want to discuss all the events because they are quite personal to me but I’m really struggling with past sexual mistakes and feeling like some sort of deviant because of my past. I never hurt anyone and I never to my knowledge did anything illegal but I definitely had sexual behavior issues from my abuse. I sexualized my own abuse to cope with it. I feel horrible about this. Like I’m a monster. It also convinces me my thoughts are true and it’s evidence. Should I go to a OCD specialist for this or a sex therapist? Is there anything they can even do.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

Masterbation OCD/real event OCD

I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that

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