Oh gotta love social media. I deleted Tik Tok last summer because as fun as it could be, it just wrecked my mental health if something disturbing like an animal being hurt came across my feed. Not to mention to total time suck it was, i lost HOURS of my day to that app when i could i have been reading a book, hanging out with my friends, cleaning the house, basically ANYTHING else. So let me point out a couple things here, your entire post is about someone else and their experiences summed up into a 3-minute or less tik tok that has been edited to smithereens to only give you tiny crumbs of the whole situation. That is the very LAST thing you, or anyone should be using to do self-reflection on your OWN situation. Their situation, their ideas, their thoughts, are there's to come to terms with. I also find that people with POCD don't generally want to discuss it, LEAST of all on a VERY public platform, while pdfs seem to want to try to discuss their condition to try to get "approval" or "understanding" for it, and even acceptance of their attraction. Its like they try to justify it. There is a saying " worry about your own yard." Which means, you worry about you, your experience and your business, you have a gate you can open and close to allow who and what comes into your yard. This type of content doesn't belong in your yard, shut the gate on it.
Now, to upack this anxiety about this. I had POCD for a short time and I remember thinking the EXACT same thing. " what if its not OCD and its just me discovering the truth about myself?" Well, there are a few bits of "proof" i used to be able to dispell this. 1. iv ALWAYS been attracted to people my age ( except for one time i dated a guy 25 years older than me but i was going thru some stuff lol) SO by my own dating history is all men, all my age, as well as my DESIRE has ALWAYS been men. When i experienced my POCD it was not a desire it was an anxiety, it was a conflict with who i felt i was inside. Peds DO struggle, they WANT to interact and engage with minors but have to actively try not to, they WANT to see minor related material but are are conflict with that desire. What we experience is not desire, its just thoughts that come with a "what if I'm attracted to minors" not " i KNOW I'm attracted to minors" its a subtle but crucial difference. Best thing to do in this situation, is leave that person to their own yard, stick to yours. You know your condition, you know your history, you know your truth, OCD is the culprit, not being a pedophile.
