Idk if therapy can help me.

Try something simple like delaying the confession. Start by telling yourself, ‘I’ll tell him after dinner,’ then move it to, ‘I’ll tell him tomorrow morning,’ and so on, keep pushing it off. If your OCD is telling you, ‘You’re a cheater,’ just say, ‘Okay’ and sit with the anxiety and panic. I remember experiencing panic attacks for two weeks straight during one of my biggest OCD flare-ups, and the best way to get through them is to do nothing. The more you sit with the discomfort, the shorter and less intense they become. I know it’s a lot, you got this!

I was accused of cheating in a past relationship everyday. I have no desire to cheat at all. I tell my husband, at first he was like yo wtf... Now he understands. The most painful part is feeling accused by my brain for something I'm not doing. I'm tired of the panic attacks

OCD is like a broken alarm;it’s meant to keep us safe, but when it malfunctions, it goes off for everything, even harmless interactions. The feelings you’re having are temporary and are only given meaning because we assign it to them. They’re just thoughts and feelings, and it’s incredibly difficult to sit with them. When I went through ERP, I won’t lie—it was scary. There were so many moments where it felt impossible, and I thought I couldn’t handle it. But over time, the more I stayed with the distress, even for just a few minutes, the more I started to see that it would pass. Resisting the compulsions was painful, but each time I did, it got a little bit easier. I also learned that confessing my thoughts only made it worse, it temporarily soothed the anxiety, but it strengthened the cycle. It’s hard work, and it’s okay if it feels overwhelming. Things have to get hard before they get better.

Hey there, this can be such a hard situation to move through. OCD has probably latched onto this because you care about your husband and do not want to cause harm to him. Because you care so much, it's hard to 'sit with the uncertainty'. I agree with what our treatment conquerors have been saying, it is best to not give in to OCD, allow the thought to be present. We can accept the presence of the thought, despite it being highly uncomfortable and do nothing about it, especially not the compulsive confessing OCD is trying to demand. As an OCD therapist I often hear Members say fully resisting the compulsion feels too hard initially. In these instances, it is perfectly acceptable to begin by delaying or messing up the compulsion. I liked the idea of committing to delaying it until after dinner, then if you can delay further continue to do so. The compulsive urge to confess will likely decrease over time. Here is an article you might find helpful, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd

Hello Squishyseasponge, I agree with the treatment conquerors and Jennifer. I would like to add to what Jennifer said and address the question regarding the exposures. The process is challenging, but I like to compare it to exercise. Running and lifting heavy things does help with muscle growth and stresses the body, like the exposures. However, if we just ran or lifted heavy things without the considering the form/technique, the muscles may be injured and progress will reach a wall. The same can be said for ERP. If we just expose you to the stress, it would just feel bad. We go further and figure out the technique that you need, starve the OCD of strength. The is the response prevention piece of ERP. In short, we will work with you to approach and face the exposures, as an athlete develops their technique with a coach for the playing field. I hope this helps and don't hesitate to reach out to NOCD to begin your journey of recovery. We will be here and hope to see you here when you are ready to make a change!

I just allow and let my attractions be now and I enjoy them and I know I can’t help it and it is just what it is. Nothing is going to happen. I’m not going to engage in any sexual or cheating behaviour. But if I see something that is attractive and the feeling to do something I just allow it to be there without judgement. I know I am attracted to others and other people are beautiful and things are beautiful. You’re human and your attraction and connection to others does not turn off when you’re in a relationship.

Fighting these thoughts is what is excruciatingly painful. Learning to allow them and accepting the uncertainty is what brings peace. ERP teaches you how to do this. I know it sounds the opposite of what is helpful and can be intimidating. I felt that way too. But I promise you it's what gets you free from this mental torture!

You bring up some truly valid points. Especially the mentally cheating thing. I suppose if it eases the anxiety of it all, it would make sense to play them out only in your head rather than in reality. But yeah, the guilt of that is pretty heavy. It sounds like something happened or you witnessed something that caused this troubling issue in your life. Please know i don’t say that to extract details, not at all. I know what you mean and that awkwardness you’re feeling. I avoided a store i really wanted to go to because i knew they’d have what i was hoping to find. However, i know there’s also a lot of women that shop there and can be flirtatious, so i avoided going there. I already caused enough trouble in that area and i will never repeat it, at all costs. The thoughts we have are natural thoughts, they are how our brain operates. I don’t know if it would help to share the thoughts with your guy and perhaps put that energy into your relationship. A way of refocusing the thoughts you can’t avoid but can use them positively. Perhaps they could help to reduce the guilt by playing them out together. Then there’s no shame in the thoughts because you’re directing that energy to you two. I don’t know, but it may work. We can’t control where i mind goes all the time, but we may be able to effectively use them to better our lives, if possible. Not sure if that helps, but it’s what came to mind in reading your post. Thank you for sharing.

Hey There Squish.... It sounds like you are looking for definitive answers which is exactly what OCD wants you to do. OCD always wants an answer! You can combat this by allowing yourself to sit with not having an answer and building tolerance for uncertainty. Try this: "maybe this is cheating, maybe it's not" or "I'm not going to judge or respond to this thought." Let us know how this works for you!