doubting him

hi guys, i’m struggling again. the other day, my bf and i went to get ice cream and there was this girl with a fat ass. i pointed it out first because like super impressive and she’s my ideal body type at the moment. (note: i get jealous and freak over girls i have jealousy to) so i was staring at him to see if he was looking at her but i couldn’t tell, he was looking in her direction but she was in the front counter. idk if he was looking at her. i brought it up and he was really sweet about it and reassured me that he didn’t and that he purposely didn’t look out of respect for me. i believe him but i have a little voice in my ear telling me he’s lying and he obviously was looking. any tips on how to diminish that little voice ??

beeistrying

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

hello! i know ocd can really be rough when it comes to relationships :( first, i would look inward a bit. think about why you'd point it out if you didn't want him to look, and then, what my own therapist would tell me, is "what is the worst case scenario if he were looking?" when it comes to ERP therapy, reassurance can make things a lot worse with ocd and our brain will always try to convince us the other person doesnt always mean it. so, catch yourself in the moment if you can. ERP therapy usually will have you go down your own personal worst case scenario and read it over and over to yourself until you realize how silly it ends up coming across (at least thats how i view it with myself). anyway i hope this makes sense :) im personally not a jealous type but i do have a lot of relationship OCD in general. my bf has learned to not give me reassurance and it has helped quite a bit, and i learn to mentally stop myself by going "so what if he's doing/thinking xyz, maybe the worst case will happen, what happens will happen". its hard af at first but it gets easier and easier over time as your brain and body adjust to therapy <3

1twilightloverr

Date posted: 41w

@beeistrying this actually helps a lot, i will be writing down my worst case scenarios thank youuu!!

1twilightloverr

Date posted: 41w

also i’ve noticed that it really bothers me when it’s a girl who’s his initial type. he told me that his type is any body type i am

audrey :)

Date posted: 41w

@1twilightloverr girl, I literally go through the same exact thing. I’m always looking at him and where his eyes are anytime there’s an attractive female around and it gets me so anxious and freaked out inside my head and I start thinking the craziest things like for example: “what if that girl somehow just changed his mind about me after seeing her” or “I bet he thinks she’s so pretty” or I’ll think about how my bf could do so much better than me, looks wise. Jealousy sucks man

1twilightloverr

Date posted: 41w

@audrey :) literally!! i’ve been going to the gym more and trying to feel more confident. i def think stuff like that goes away with time because unfortunately i look at guys too without noticing 😭 and realize what im doing

1twilightloverr

Date posted: 41w

@audrey :) we’ll get thru this:) i’m glad im not alone. i think for me the fear runs deeper that maybe hes secretly evil and our great relationship will fall apart

audrey :)

Date posted: 41w

@1twilightloverr That’s so real. We’ll def get through it!

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