Rocd and change

My girlfriend and I are both applying to grad schools and have no idea what’s going to happen next with our lives but I am seeing couple getting engaged and moving in and I am so freaked out I feel like I should want those things and I do but like not now? But is that bad to not want them now I’m scared it will never actually be the right time or that maybe I am with the wrong person but I don’t believe in wrong person and I love my partner so much I don’t want to feel this uncertainty but that is what my ocd wants :// any tips y’all?

tired!

Date posted: 24w

I can definitely resonate with these feelings. ROCD makes everything seem very urgent. While I understand that these can be big decisions they do not need to be figured out right now. I have had the same feelings about moving in with my partner. I live with my partner now, but now I think about whether or not I want children. This is one of my stickiest thoughts because even though he really wants children and I am unsure, this decision does not need to be figured out right this moment. It’s hard when the content of the concern is valid, but the response your brain gives you is debilitating. It creates a very uncomfortable feeling. My therapist always let me know that you don’t have to rush these decisions and that you don’t have to be right all of the time. You can agree to live with your partner and then find you don’t enjoy sharing your space that much, and that’s okay. Maybe then you can get apartments close to each other or get a larger bedroom. There is always a solution and you are more resilient than you think. Sit with the discomfort of not knowing sometimes because it can help you make decisions you really want instead of decisions made from fear.

puzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 24w

@tired! Thank you so much for this awesome comment! I love the last sentence it really resonated

puzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 24w

I can’t tell if it’s real or ROCD

Struggling really hard right now, going through a lot of changes in my relationship with decisions for grad school coming out for both of us, I can’t tell if it’s my ocd or if it’s real anymore. I love her so much but sometimes I cant really see the future like I can see 6 months in advance but that’s about it I’m scared of what it means to see a future. I don’t want to be with anyone else and I am okay with being alone but I couldn’t stand to lose her.

bdads27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

rocd question about navigating culture

my people in relationships i have a question! i find a lot of like relationship “concepts” that we see online or just within our culture really trigger me. articles, posts, dialogue, friends pretty much anything saying things things like “outgrowing relationships” “you need to date around extensively to find the one” “you’re too young to be in love or settle down” “things my partner does” pretty much anything about advice or just other people’s situations triggers me at times and makes me question a lot!! i know this means i need more confidence in myself which im working on. i’m doing the work to separate my situation from these and i know it’s working because it feels uncomfortable, but i’m wondering if anyone young and in a relationship navigates this. i also feel like this triggering gets worse when im already anxious. recently my partner and i have been having constant spats bc im hesitant to communicate. i feel like im putting pressure on myself bc i really want this to work out to the point where i feel like idk what to do! it’s funny identifying the tricks ocd is playing on me bc i do recognize the irony here but any advice in coping or just experiences helps!!! mwah mwah happy women’s day!!!!

tommih

Date posted: 19w

Relationship OCD

I’m obsessing over the future and if my boyfriend and I are going to make it. I know it’s ocd because the thought won’t leave. Discussing the future with my boyfriend makes him very stressed because he is in a difficult family situation. I’m trying my hardest to be patient but I need reassurance that there is a plan and timeline in place. We have been dating for almost two years and I’m not ready to live together but I like discussing it and knowing there’s some form of plan. My ocd gets bad when there is no plan. Are there any thoughts or tips to help?

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