I have a question concerning ERP. If my problem is compulsively watching videos that makes me anxious because I can’t stop myself (like an urge), or because I have to watch it to see that it’s not that scary and to get over it. If I want to apply ERP, does that mean I have to go on Internet and controlling myself and not click on stuff I dont want to watch, or actually exposing myself to them and watching them so that I get less anxious about them and eventually I won’t obsess over them anymore because they will be like neutral for me. For example now, I am thinking about a video that kinda disturbed me, but I need to remember a specific detail in the video that disturbed me so I Want to watch it again: so should I just NOT watch it because that would be a compulsion or watch it to see that it’s not actually scary and to get over it.

I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.

Anyone have any tips on not making ERP a compulsion? I find myself sometimes wanting to do exposures in order to make myself feel better (feel my anxiety go down and feel relief). 😅

I've got a smart watch that tracks my sleep. It gives data like heart rate, heart rate variability (HRV), respiratory rate, sleep cycles, restfullness, etc etc etc. Well, since the health OCD has gotten to its peak, I am noticing a false patterning coming from it. For context; I was sick 2 times in recent memory where sleeping heart rate and HRV became metrics that I could use to sort of track the illness. In the days leading up to it, I'd notice my heart rate going up and HRV going down (higher hrv is better.) Then when I was fully sick, my HRV would be up to 15ms less than normal. So now, when I look over my sleep data (because I like to look at data like that, it is interesting to me) and notice my HRV is lower than normal, it triggers intrusive thoughts of "am i getting sick again?" despite no other symptoms. Ruminating begins as I try to "figure out" the cause, despite knowing that stress can lower sleeping HRV. My question is; is it a compulsion to be looking at my sleep data? Should I avoid it altogether? Or is this exactly what ERP is; exposing myself to a triggering event and preventing the response? I look at the data either way and it is only alarming when I see something out of the ordinary. So, do I stop tracking my sleep, or is this a good small step for ERP?