Constant battle

I hate feeling constantly conflicted no matter what. I have noticed with food intake, I find myself going back and forth between obsessing over eating too much and fear of gaining any weight to obsessing over eating too little and fear of losing an unhealthy amount of weight and the negative consequences of such. I am getting married this year and continuously think about how I need to be mindful and not eat too much since I need to fit into my dress and feel confident on my wedding day, as I don’t want to look back at pics and be unhappy with how I look. But I also think about how if I don’t eat enough, I will look too thin and will not be confident in myself, and will look back and be unhappy. Idk. It is so hard because I am always trying to figure out what is “right” but it feels like there is no “right.” And I have a really hard time recognizing what my body ACTUALLY looks like physically, not really knowing how I appear to others

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w ago

It sounds like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, to find a balance that may not exist (the just right feeling). Can you try to reflect on the excitement of getting married, of the special day coming up? That’s a value you can focus on while you navigate the stress that comes with it. OCD can really attack your body image. It’s so hard. But an ERP therapist can help you navigate this, and I believe NOCD has been focusing on these kind of thoughts too.

OCD Helping ...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w ago

This makes a lot of sense! The best way to deal with these thoughts is by using ERP: Sitting with these thoughts of discomfort and not engaging with them until they pass through you. Whenever we're searching for something to be "just right" that's another way of saying we are searching for "Certainty" which we can never have. ERP can help with this!

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 27d ago

As someone in recovery from both OCD and an eating disorder, I feel this. I am so sorry you are focused on these doubts and fears. Please know that your body and your appearance is not your worth, and that you deserve to have a wedding (and life) free from this distress! I think you're onto something when you say there actually is no "right". Nothing is ever "right" enough for OCD, it just keeps going and going and keeps you doubting. Leaning into uncertainty is what sets you free. Sending you love and a virtual hug. Have you ever spoken with an OCD therapist? They can help a lot.

anniebanannie

Date posted: 27d ago

@Andrea Wells Thank you, I really appreciate that. Yeah, it is so difficult when there is no answer or set of instructions to follow. I have been seeing a therapist for my OCD, yes! We have been working on some food related exposures which has been helpful. It is just so difficult to silence the constant nagging that’s in my head at all times, which I am sure you completely understand. Once again, thank you for your response, it means a lot.

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 26d ago

@anniebanannie - You are very welcome. I'm so glad I could offer you some support. I'm happy to hear you have an OCD therapist as well to help with exposures. ERP therapy has helped me a ton. I know that the nagging in your head can feel relentless, especially in the earlier stages of treatment. In time, it will lessen. Rooting for you! And congrats on your upcoming wedding.

King silly

Date posted: 23w ago

Is this ocd?

I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know

Relationship OCD

landonw

Date posted: 23w ago

Why Does It Seem So Real?

Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. They’re still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesn’t help but it’s been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I don’t want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like “What if?” and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror because I get scared that I won’t like what I see. I’ve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I don’t want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I don’t.. It’s just a lot.

lydiasue

Date posted: 15w ago

Food OCD

Hey guys! So I struggle with OCD, especially harm, relationship and moral stuff and I am somewhat recovered now. However, my current girlfriend has started showing signs of OCD but it’s abou5 something I don’t know much about so I wanted to see if anyone on here had thoughts about it. She is constantly thinking about food (when to eat it, what is healthy, what is too much, what is too little) and controls the thoughts by giving in and controlling her entire day around food. She don’t really know the feeling of being full. She never starved herself and always eats, but then she feels extremely guilty afterwards. Her thoughts do have to do a lot with her body image and not gaining weight but also not losing any either. Does this sound like ocd or an eating disorder?

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Constant battle

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