Strange relationship craving

Lately i've been feeling a deep urge to be in a relationship, yet at the same time I feel as if it would be too exhausting to deal with. I don't know why. It may be due to one or two of my past relationships being.. "abusive" or toxic? I'm not exactly sure if I can call it that though, I was never physically hurt, because they were online. I'm just feeling rather lonely and would like to spend time with someone who likes things that I do and who wants to cuddle and hold hands. I crave affection a lot, but at the same time I get so exhausted when I have to try to meet people. Maybe I just have to get over that part of it.

୨ৎ

Date posted: 24w

very normal! i feel like others can agree. i have moments where i want a boyfriend so bad, but im sooo far from ready. i’m trying to have a better relationship with my faith, and myself, before i get into a relationship. i have to love myself, even with my struggles, in order to love someone the same. and toxic relationships definitely play a huge role in being scared of dating again. take one day at a time, and don’t be afraid to branch out to meet people, there’s someone out there for you!

OCD Helping ...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

I think everyone can related to this in one way or the other. Nothing in life comes without its sacrifices. There can't be true love without some kinds of difficulties to level it all out. Nothing is perfect. All we can do is keep trying until we find the right relationship (and the one we're willing to put up with all the B.S. for)!

Andrea Wells

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

It's so valid to want a partner and to crave a affection. That's a very normal, human thing. It's also so valid to have doubts and worries about what a future relationship may look like, especially with past negative experiences and worries about how a potential partner may perceive you. That's a lot of uncertainty and unknowns, two things that OCD hates.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 23w

Hey there! As others have responded to you, it is completely normal to crave closeness with a partner. It sounds like your past is having a big impact on how you think of not only your future relationships, but also how you think about yourself.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 23w

Relationship obsessions can be difficult because they demand certainty, which is difficult if not impossible to achieve in relationships. Many times this certainty tends to focus on how the relationship feels. It sounds like you would like a relationship but at the same time it will be tiring at times. Have you ever spoken with an OCD trained therapist about this concern?

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Struggling😢

Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 11w

First Long-term Relationship Pains

Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 7w

This is confusing 18+ only

So I know for a fact that I'm not ready for relationships. It's just not something I feel like I can do due to insecurities, self confidence, anxiety, and self esteem getting in the way of that. It's something that's always on my mind due to fomo and societal norms. I know I would like one but I haven't found any other reasons beyond the biological want. There's a woman that I really do like spending time with and I kept thinking of trying to chat with her more just as a friend to hang out and just get to know her more. Everytime I've seen her it's been a great time and we get along really well. We click on a lot of things and have big interests in common. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of her as a romantic partner but I just know that's not something I can do. Is it disingenuous to try and be friends with her despite having this on my mind time and time again? This is the one thing I could never find myself getting over.

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Strange relationship craving

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