really worried about my lover

non explicit nsfw +18 i had a thought like "i should have never doubted that my lover is attracted to me" and for some reason it triggered me, i cant really explain it, but it made me feel like i have done/thought bad things when it comes to our sex life. like, it has happened that at times when they would tell me no i would feel a bit disappointed cus i really enjoy being intimate, but they told me many many many times ( since it's an obsession of mine and i asked for reassurance ) that i never treated them badly or made them feel hurt or obligated when it comes to intimacy. they would break up with me and not want me around in the slightest if I did. I still feel really worried even if I didn't hurt them, but im afraid that i have thought bad things or was toxic about it. idk

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 23w

Hi, therapist here. I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with these thoughts in your relationship. OCD can target the things we love and care about the most, which is what makes the thoughts stick around. I have a video here about ERP therapy and I’m wondering if you have engaged in this type of treatment before? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CvuKZhtzka8

aaanonymous

Date posted: 23w

yes i have a therapist who's specialised in OCD. it's so hard tho because even if my therapist says i should trust my lover who tells me that i didn't hurt them at all im still afraid i might have had toxic thoughts about our intimacy. I know that thinking something and actively hurting someone don't hold the same weight, but i feel so bad about it cus they don't deserve someone who possibly had such a toxic mindset on something so delicate

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 23w

@aaanonymous I see where you’re coming from. I’m glad you have a therapist to work with on this, and I definitely think some exposures around this topic would be helpful for you! A big part of OCD is difficulty coping with uncertainty. Unfortunately, there is no way here to be 100% certain, and it sounds like your OCD is picking up on that. That’s probably why even your partner and your therapist giving you reassurance isn’t making you feel better. Reading your post reminded me of another video we have on the NOCD YouTube: https://youtu.be/XiukCDkNPcY I think this touches on some of the pattern that you might be caught up in. I hope it helps you on your journey🙂

vmpstr_

Date posted: 23w

i feel like a predator

hi lately im having intrusive thoughts that tell me im a predator. im in long distance relationship with my boyfriend and we often text in more hot way if i can call it that. and lately we had an argument, not really concerning this, he just thought im demanding stuff from him in general with the way i text, tho these type of text were just jokes and it was misunderstanding (i apologised obviously and explained it to him). this topic should be done then, but my head started giving me urges to check our messages when we were sexting and it's maybe anxiety but it made me feel like my text were pressuring stuff on him like sending me a vm or just commenting on my body. i knew most stuff i texted then were with joking manner and he knew it too because he didn't showed to be uncomfortable besides when i got the feeling like im pressing on him i imadietlly apologised and reassured him that he doesn't need to do anything i ask for if he's not comfortable, i brought it up a few days ago and kinda asked for reassurance and he got surpised i think im a pred and all. he said he didn't feel manipulated, nor like i was forcing him to do anything, and that im not a predator or anything. but my head keeps telling me i am. i have constant feeling like i hurt him and acted horrible. and i don't know what to do with that feeling.

aaanonymous

Date posted: 22w

harm ocd during intimacy

18+ i was having intimacy with my lover. i was frustrated and i had a thought like "hurt her physically", i think i Remember not agreeing with it. i didn't hurt my lover they were fine they never felt hurt physically, but im afraid i might have done some action with the intention to hurt them but maybe i wasn't violent enough? idk. i don't remember any action with that intention so that's that. it happened like a couple of hours ago and im afraid i forgot about it. also, i get anxious because sometimes when i have intrusive thoughts i kind of act on it? not as in like doing what the intrusive thoughts tells me, but something similar that is better in a way? like today i had a thought like "grope your lover in public" but instead of doing that i just squeezed their waist. so idk im afraid i might have done something similar here

britbrit

Date posted: 22w

Obsession - Secretly A Toxic Partner

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts where they feel like they’re secretly toxic to their partner without realizing? So much so that they fear their partner wants to leave them? I’ve been having a bad flare up lately since I switched meds and it truly makes me feel like I’m an awful or toxic partner. I love my boyfriend endlessly and I want to be a great partner for him, I just get scared that I am actually being terrible to them. I used to constantly say sorry but now it’s in my own head most of the time.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

really worried about my lover

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community