the feeling during intimacy with my partner, and just when it's a nice moment, what?! I find vivid thoughts and scenes and it seems that I want them and that they stimulate me... I'm going crazy
It's all OCD!! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you mind to look at my most recent post and give me your opinion?
@Anonymous2122 glad but i can't find them.. I'll look now! I'm also sorry that you are also going through ocd...thanks for your support..it's very hard to believe that ocd is coming
@Anonymous2122 don't see them.. maybe they contain some forbidden words, so it's banned..
@Anonimus ME🫥 If I comment here, can you respond back to it?
Ok yes sure
@Anonimus ME🫥 Before I write this, I will say I had a therapy appointment and told my therapist about this and she said I was fine. And that it was all OCD. However, I'm questioning it still. I've not been getting much sleep, and about a week ago I woke up to my daughter's either foot or knee resting on my bottom. I didn't think much of it because she flops around all night in her sleep. However, I had an intrusive thought come about to move my legs to make her foot graze my bottom. Instead of ignoring the thought, I moved my legs which caused that to happen and made me have an unwanted groinal sensation. I didn't even think twice about it and moved my legs which made her graze my bottom. But after the fact I automatically began FREAKING out and ruminating like crazy. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night and was terrified I was the monster I've always worried I was. I would NEVER hurt my daughter. Never in a million years. So now I'm ruminating as to why this happened. I feel so guilty as a mom and wonder why this happened... I'm a good mother until this happened now I feel terrible and it's hard to even wipe my daughters bottom since. Someone please give me advice. I just need some hope because I feel so guilty... I'm so scared and sad about all this.
@Anonimus ME🫥 Sorry I know it's a long comment.
@Anonimus ME🫥 Sorry again. I may just go ahead and delete it; I realize I shouldn't have sought reassurance but sometimes I just need it honestly.
@Anonymous2122 personally had similar experiences where the brain says that I did something monstrous, but in fact I did nothing like that..just like you..OCD tells you that because the anxiety caused some sensations, not reality. Our brain is constantly being tested even when we are not aware of it (probably it happens to me during intimacy as well), and since that is what we are afraid of, then it gives us the feeling that it is real and that we have done something terrible. You really have nothing to worry about, not a single monster is aware of it or cares. And you're probably a wonderful mother, but you just have OCD! That is my most honest opinion. You're fine and it's fine. You didn't do anything, but the OCD that constantly analyzes and looks for an answer that doesn't exist...
@Anonymous2122 like all of us..
@Anonimus ME🫥 Thank you SO much!!! I'm sorry for jumping on your post to ask for reassurance, but I'm just having a hard time.
@Anonymous2122 thank you, it also helps me to know that I am not alone and that others have experiences like mine... I really mean it and so does your therapist..try to get some sleep and maybe consider some drug therapy for a while...you'll be fine
@Anonimus ME🫥 Thank you so much!! I just did what my thought told me to which scares me
@Anonymous2122 you didn't do it, you tested it! Just because it scares you that it's true, your brain exaggerates and represents something else!
And what is happening...let's say I come across a video of that person and then I stop the part where it triggers me and I deliberately imagine images of a sexual type, and if I don't feel anything, I look again, as if I want it or I have the urge to imagine it, i.e. I feel the need, and if I feel something or get a feeling in my groin and I feel like I fall into despair?
constantly when I deliberately imagine sex scenes looking at the photo that triggers me (my sister's face), it's like I'm imagining, projecting how I see myself how self pleasure myself, and I feel like I can, I have some drive, and it's like there are no limits, like the more I imagine the stronger it is... it scares me a lot, and I think I'm the only one who has it that way, and that it's not part of ocd...
* Mentions of Sexual OCD, Hypersexuality, among other things. Recently, I had started to feel so much better, after trying to do some ERP therapy at home, i could feel myself becoming much more capable of holding back intrusive thoughts. Well since yesterday.. or, i dont know when, its been absolutely destroyed. About a month ago, I went out with some friends to the mall. everything was great, until while at the arcade, me and one of my friends tried pranking the other two by running off without them noticing. Well it backfired, one of the others went with him, and i was left with someone who i’ll just call J for the sake of simplicity. To cut it short, we had already pranked J earlier, so I stayed back to tell him about what we were trying to do, and things got weird. He started telling me to ‘go to the bathroom’ with him. I’ll admit that i didnt know what to say, i just felt off, but i wasnt going to do any of that. But i didnt say no. Long story short, i had to use the bathroom, so i left the arcade and went to another and luckily my friend distracted J so he wouldnt follow me in. I’d like to also add now that I have someone that i love dearly, me and him arent really together yet, but its a mutual thing. After that i cried when i returned home. and eventually i moved on, blocked the guy and everything. Now, i don’t know why, or how, but i cant stop having images in my head of what would’ve happened if i did do it. If i did go to the bathroom. And at the same time it shows me images of things happening in my own house, i see it in the shower, while on my couch, even while eating. And it doesnt stop at the sexual stuff, No. It shows me romantic versions of all this; hugging, kissing, holding hands, and in the background it mostly shows sexual scenes. All while giving me groinal responses and weird sensations that are akin to attraction of some kind. Im losing my mind trying to get it to stop. Its eating me alive, and its gotten to the point where i feel like im cheating on my partner. And my mind keeps tellint me that i actually dont love my partner, that I should’ve just gone along with what J was saying, and its making me feel like i dont really love my partner. That i should just unblock and text J. Its making me feel like ive fallen out of love and i dont know why, what if i did fall out of love? what if i end up doing something wrong, or making the wrong choice? Im scared of not loving my partner. I love my partner too much to lose him to this bullcrap. Has anyone else dealt with this? I feel lost and I dont know what to do. I cant even think about my own partner, not even about me hugging him, it gets replaced with J, everytime i try to think about anything it gets replaced in some way with something related to J. Even if i see a show, and i see someone that reminds me of J i instantly start getting intrusive thoughts and images. I feel so horrible, i feel like I’ve failed my relationship somehow. I dont know what to do.
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