Haven't been on in a bit

I hope everyone is doing well! It's been a week or so since I came on the app. I wasn't doing so well, but I promised myself I'd stay off until after my next psychiatrist appointment (two days ago). The appointment didn't last long. I regret not going into more detail with her, but I shared the basics of what I had been dealing with. We're raising my dose (Sertraline) to 100mg. Hopefully, that will do something...? The intrusive thoughts haven't been too bad, but I just feel... blank. There's not a lot going on in my personal life right now, so that might be the main reason. I'm doing okay, though. I've read three books in the past week. I'm about to start my fourth tonight. I don't know if keeping busy in this case is a form of avoidance or not. But I feel depressed if I'm not doing anything, so... here we are! 🥲

OCDNoThankYe

Date posted: 28w

Hey, I've seen your around here before. I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for staying off of here, I definitely need to do the same because I probably look at 100+ posts a day, I'm not sure why. Keep up the reading if it's something you enjoy and gives you happiness. Doing things that benefit you is not a distraction, it's you living and enjoying life, which is what you deserve. Best of luck with everything, you got this.

Crook

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 28w

@OCDNoThankYe I agree

nae nae

Date posted: 28w

I did that, too :( Thank you for being proud of me! If you feel like scrolling might be becoming a compulsion, I'd recommend taking a break. It doesn't mean you can't come on the app at all, but maybe try setting a limit for how long you can be on the app a day! I'll definitely keep reading! I need to remember that. My mom said something similar to me the other day. Ever since my OCD spiked, I feel like I've been re-learning how to be a human being lol. Anyways, thank you again. Best of luck to you as well! 🤍

Crook

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 28w

Did you feel any better by staying off of here? I think I need to do the same.

nae nae

Date posted: 28w

It did, actually! This app has been extremely helpful, and the community on here has provided me with so much support, but... Scrolling and posting can become a compulsion. At least, it did for me. There were also a lot of triggers I was exposed to while scrolling, which I count as exposure, but stepping away from the app allowed my thoughts to calm down from all of that. I'll most likely continue to come on the app, but I think I'll have periods where I take a break :)

🖤BrokenChaos🖤

Date posted: 28w

I know you haven't been on!! Kinda missed you, ngl. (Not in a creepy way TwT) Boredom is hard to combat. Any hobbies?

nae nae

Date posted: 23w

Rough night :(

Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! 😭 I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there 🤍

nae nae

Date posted: 19w

Mini vent (sorta)!

I'm struggling with a lot of doubts today, but trying the best I can to keep on living my life 🥲 I'm on 150mg of Sertraline right now, and honestly, I'm feeling a lot better than before. Do I still get triggered? Yes! But I'm handling it easier. The only issue is, I feel like I'm obsessing over recovering? Not if I'm doing it "right," but more so getting to a point where I feel "perfect." That's not possible, I know. Even before OCD spiraled out of control, I struggled with other issues on a daily basis. But life felt simpler back then, and I didn't have this magical (and annoying) ability to remember every single bad thing that's ever happened to me or every single intrusive thought I've ever had in extreme detail 😭 Whenever I'm feeling okay, I can not help but think, "Remember how bad it was (insert time-frame)?" And then my mind zip zaps through every instance I've ever felt anxiety, like...? I don't even know if it's me doing this or if its OCD, but it frustrates me so, so much when it happens. Anyway, that's all for now... If anyone can relate, we're in this together 🤍 Hang in there!

baukje

Date posted: 18w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

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Haven't been on in a bit

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