False memory UGHH!

I hate this! so f-ing annoying! my brain gets over one “what if”, then goes onto the next immediately. It’s like my punishment for feeling and sort of peace or relief. for example, I did a compulsion yesterday trying to see if I did anything bad/inappropriate, I eventually got relief and was like I didn’t do anything bad but then today I did the compulsion one more time just to make sure and then I finally got relief and then my ocd latched onto the compulsion I did today and was like “what if u did something bad/inappropriate but don’t remember” like wtf. this JUST happened. it feels like i forget things immediately!!! Idek if this makes sense im just venting this is so annoying

moon0270

Date posted: 22w

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🫂

Justsurviving

Date posted: 22w

You're not alone I'm going through the exact same thing

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

its annoying because you're still doing compulsions. every single time you do a compulsion, you are communicating to your brain that the "what ifs" are worth the attention you are giving it. it's like a toddler, when they throw tantrums and parents give them attention for it, they learn that stupid tantrums will result in the attention they want, so they keep throwing tantrums, that often get worse over time. parents have to totally ignore the tantrums for a while before the kid learns that a tantrum is bad behavior and they don't get attention for it. your OCD is a toddler, its throwing what if tantrums and your just feeding them with every compulsion, your making them stronger. you HAVE to ignore them. and just like kids, a tantrum is ugly, its loud, they scream, the kick, they embarrassed the HELL out of parents in public which is why so many parents just give in, give the attention to " get the immediate relief" of peace from the tantrum but as i said, all it does is re-enforce the behvaor and sets the stage for more tantrums. STOP-DOING-COMPULSIONS and in time your OCD will stop doing this. but if you keep doing the compulsions, expect your OCD to continue. Also-just like toddler tantrums, the thing the OCD wants attention for is completely stupid. like a kid that wants candy in the store and the parent says no-tantrum. that candy isn't vital nutrients, that child is not going to starve without it, but bet your ass that kid is going to ACT like that candy is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in the whole world and something very bad will happen if the parent doesn't give them that candy.... not true. just like your OCD. your fears are useless candy that your brain only THINKS needs your attention, in really they don't. the sooner you realize this and stop giving into your need for unnecessary relief, the sooner your ocd will stop asking for it.

dee012

Date posted: 22w

@TexasOCD41 Hi Texas thank you for your comment. I have been trying to stop compulsions sometimes I’m successful sometimes I’m not. I’m really depressed now though, idk if my cycle is gonna come and that’s making it worse but idk. I’ve been thinking that I don’t wanna be alive and stuff it just makes me sad. I’m trying to ignore well not force the thoughts away but let it sit and it’s just so bothersome but I’ve been doing compulsions so long so it’s gonna take work to stop. Ur right all this stuff my ocd brings my attention 2 is very useless

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

@dee012 - and yes your period will make it spike. it does mine almost every cycle. keeping that in mind will help you stay ahead of it and realize its not real its just your cycle making it more intense.

dee012

Date posted: 22w

@TexasOCD41 I don’t know if you started your comment with - and yes because it was a response to a comment u made just nowbut if so it’s not popping up

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

@dee012 - no thats how i started the comment. no other comments before that. just started it funny i guess lol

No matric ce...

Date posted: 22w

Ocd is the doubting disorder ,it will never ever be satisfied and will always demand 100% certainty, the only way is to do ERP and accepting uncertainty, it's hard and scary accepting uncertainty but it is the only thing that will help you loosen ocd grip over you

dee012

Date posted: 22w

@No matric certificate Ur right and I hate this disorder so much. I’ve been doing erp but I don’t think I’ve been doing it right because I vent a lot

dee012

Date posted: 25w

false memory half asleep

I hate when false memory targets memories where I was half asleep. For example, earlier this morning im guessing 2-3 am i dunno but I was half asleep, I turned my head and saw my cats butt in my face. I grabbed my cat tail and put the tail over his butt, so his butt will not be in my face and his tail will cover it. I think he ended up moving to cuddle, or I grabbed him to cuddle with me., but my cat ended up licking my hand and it gave me a groinal response. I am pretty sure that moment it did make me feel weird and uncomfortable, but I just tried to sit with it and ignore. I’m also sure that I just told my cat to leave, or just let him go. But my ocd is making me feel like i did something wrong or like WHAT IF YOU DID. Like no matter how much i try to figure it out my chest hurts so bad and i keep rethinking about it and i can’t find where I did something wrong but my brain is like what if you did this but you were half asleep so u don’t remember. Like this is super difficult. My chest hurts so bad like im trying to not think about it but wtf.

moon0270

Date posted: 24w

Mental compulsions/ rumination

So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget

amelia:3

Date posted: 24w

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

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False memory UGHH!

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