Pretty Tough Morning

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15d ago

Good morning. OCD latches on to what's most important to you. So it sounds like you value your relationship with God very much. The ruminating about: Am I saved? Is it too late for me? I need to pray right now. Am I doing this for the right reasons? All are very common with religious OCD. Been there. Done that ..over and over. My advice is listen to your therapist. They will give you tools to help you with OCD. But just know you are not alone. I had OCD almost 50 years before I knew what it was. I thank God I found NOCD. It changed my life. It will be work, but you can do it!

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 14d ago

@ElevenB Yes, NOCD specializes in ERP therapy. This treatment works really well. :):):) Once you practice it, you can defeat the OCD traps and get back to doing the things you want to do.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 14d ago

I have struggled with Scrupulosity for years. All day long I have doubts and worries about my salvation. What you are describing is very, very typical. Does your therapist do ERP therapy? If not, I highly recommend that you start ERP as soon as you can. It is extremely helpful. I have enjoyed a lot of Mark DeJesus’ lessons on YouTube. He gives a Christian perspective on the OCD battle.

Krome_da

Date posted: 14d ago

@Tea and Honey I’m starting therapy tonight

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 14d ago

@Krome_da That’s great!! Is it ERP specifically?? There are many types you might choose from. I think ERP is the only one that is really effective

Krome_da

Date posted: 14d ago

@Tea and Honey Yes it is ERP

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 13d ago

@Krome_da Great!!!!!

Jesuslovesyouu

Date posted: 14d ago

hi! fellow believer here! the what ifs are OCD, OCD attacks what’s most important to you. you can’t talk to God for the wrong reasons! Jesus came so we could have a relationship with God our Father, meaning we get to talk to Him whenever, all day every day about anything and He’ll listen. take all of this to Him, every what if every doubt, He wants to help you. Surrender it to Him and ask Him to help you and heal you. if you believe, you are saved! the bible says so! there are so many reasons why i listen to Christian music, to worship, to connect to God, to calm down, to cheer myself up! God could take it all away in a second if He wanted to but sometimes we have to deal with hard things so that we can draw closer to Him. OCD and anxiety is something that is constantly drawing me back to God. every fear, what if, doubt, i take it all to Jesus and try to give up the control. it’s perfectly normal to doubt things but when we feel those doubts creeping in, we take them to Jesus and surrender it.

Danni2314

Date posted: 25w ago

First time posting !! Schizophrenic OCD. Help.

TW. Also long post ahead . I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 10 years. I’m 32 years old . I didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until this year. I was always diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, and depression. I don’t have your typical compulsions. Mine are mostly all mental. Reassurance seeking, avoidance , repeating a prayer , etc . I have three main themes . Schizophrenia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, and HIV. Sometimes i deal with harm OCD and POCD but my main big three are the ones I listed first . I feel like the schizophrenic OCD is the most debilitating for me. For the last ten years I’ve been thinking I’m losing my mind . I thought once I got to a certain age the fear would go away but it hasn’t and is in full force . I’m constantly checking my surroundings, what I’m hearing, how I’m acting , questioning if things are real and so on . Now I do have times where this theme doesn’t bother me . It’s put on the back burner . I go through cycles . But when I’m focusing on this theme I feel like I’m hearing stuff . Most of the time I can’t make it out but recently I feel like I’ve been hearing a whisper saying “hey” . It mainly happens at night . It sends me into a complete panic and I feel like “this is it “ I’m seeing an OCD therapist and she recommended me to go to this psychiatric place in town to get meds to help my anxiety from the OCD. My last psychiatrist always pushed the newest medicine and was constantly changing up my regimen. I thought I would give it a try. WORST IDEA EVER . Keep in mind my therapist gave me a letter to give to her explaining I have been diagnosed with OCD and explaining it . She doesn't think I have OCD at all. She wanted to put me on an antipsychotic so me with my OCD brain . I asked her if she thought I was psychotic . She said I was nearing psychosis . She called me interesting . She feels like I have major depressive disorder . I'm just at a loss for words. It was honestly the strangest meeting I have had with a psychiatrist. It was very unprofessional. She has no idea the damage she has done nor do I think she cares. I just don't know what to Believe in anymore ... We met for approximately 45 minutes . First time ever meeting. I just want to cry and I’m freaking out 😢

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 20w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

tlousluvr

Date posted: 14w ago

advice 🧸

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

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