Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!
Try to delay your urgency. If you have an urge to confess in that moment, tell yourself you’ll confess tomorrow, or hours later. Remind yourself that OCD is attacking your values and is driving the desire to confess, but it doesn’t mean you have to listen to OCD. And try to remember that giving in to compulsions keeps you in the cycle, but learning to tolerate the distress and doubt is what will get you free. Your therapist may also have some tools you can use.
@MichelleV But how to figure what needs to be confessed and what doesn’t? I’m in a pickle. I’m obsessed with my partner’s career. And I have social conditioning/bias towards it meaning I have thoughts like it’s not prestigious enough etc. but I support him and will be with him no matter what. I’m also actively journaling to unlearn those biases. But I feel so guilty to have them, and I don’t want them. So do I have to confess this? Like how do I tell if I need to confess or not?
I have this but I fixate on what my partners done in the past
I try to remind myself that the shared growth and our behaviors in the present are what matter most
Hi truespartan48! I'm a little late to this, but I just wanted to add - that discomfort you feel, along with immense guilt, is actually a vital ingredient in ERP treatment. This discomfort is what you learn to sit with, while making the active decision to practice response prevention (what MichelleV is referring to!) Here are some resources that may be helpful... https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-do-i-move-forward-from-the-guilt-of-not-doing-compulsions | https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-managing-ocd-means-managing-your-emotions
something that really bugs me and gets in my head with my rocd is that for most of my relationship i’ve had this nagging anxiety and ocd about it. i can accept my thoughts for the most part, but have this underlying fear that this one could really mean something and that makes me feel guilty! i don’t want to loose her but my mind tells me i do because ive had these thoughts. it’s even coming up in my dreams now! i had a dream last night that i cheated and it made me panic all today and feel so bad and this thought came up again! any advice?
I’m really frustrated with myself. I got diagnosed with ROCD about 2 and a half weeks ago and now it’s taken over my life. I was just with my boyfriend who is absolutely amazing and I was obsessed with 2 and a half weeks ago and then a switch flipped and I started questioning everything and have gone numb. I noticed immediately something was wrong and booked an appt with my therapist who sent me to an OCD therapist who I meet with on Wednesday for the first time. I’m frustrated because when I’m with him I know what I should be feeling and can acknowledge how great he is and how good looking he is but I feel this block in my chest keeping me from feeling things. Anyone have any advice or has ever felt this way? I know I’m new to this and haven’t started therapy yet but my god it is so draining and the guilt I feel is insane. Let me know please🙏
Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well
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