Harm ocd urges Does anyone else have such strong harm ocd urges regarding your obsession that it literally feels like you’re holding back from doing it? I understand that harm ocd does indeed include urges, but can they rlly feel THAT real? Like at any time I could just “decide” to do it?
i hate it. i sometimes have thoughts like “whats stopping you?” “why not just do it?” it really messes with you but youre not alone
That’s exactly it. It’s so bizarre that OCD can literally latch onto anything in your conscious or subconscious mind that scares you the absolute most and use it against you.
All this is ruminating. And is feeding your ocd.
I suppose it can be difficult to recognize once it becomes such a big part of your day. However i think you’re right.
Allow me to ask you, if possible. Can constantly looking up “harm ocd” to see if that’s what I actually have, be a compulsion? My understanding of a compulsion would be going back to the same articles because if you don’t then the anxiety will be there. It doesn’t necessarily feel like it’s relieving anxiety, but instead like I’m genuinely trying to answer that question. Forgive me if this is a question you cannot answer. I just want to know if that’s something I should stop doing.
@Anonymous Yes this would be considered a compulsion as you’re trying to “figure it out” :)
@Anonymous I did this for about 2 years when the harm OCD got really bad and the urges so real to the point I’d breakdown and just cry in the shower because I was so tired of fighting myself. Yes researching and looking for others like you is a compulsion and for me weirdly it’s how I “figured out” I have OCD and was able to get treatment. So stop doing it. The ERP for my harm OCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but so very worth it. So stop looking for reassurance and don’t compulsively look up to see if others have the same issues. Trust the ERP process and it gets better, the urges can go away and the thoughts can become manageable if you put in the work. :)
@Anonymous It's can be hard to notice. If I want to FIgure something out it's ocd, especially if I must know.
@Anonymous If you can think it, it can become a compulsion. I treat many things like a compulsion and they may or maynot be they usually are though. Researching is a compulsion. I'm on here right now because telling you all reminds me. Oh yup, compulsion.
@Anonymous Exactly. Well done.
@Dowatiwant Exactly!!!
Yes. Very much so. Its horrifying to say the least
Probably the most horrifying thing I have ever experienced.
@Anonymous Ya:) and yet theres millions of people out there experiencing the same thing. At least we know its more than just an inexplicable urge or appetite that we have. We know its ocd. Sit with the urges brother. What if I told you they may not go away. Youre goal should be to become okay with hearing that statement. Being okay never knowing if they will go away or not…. And then… they do
@slippery_salad - Thanks my friend. That’s the worst part about it. The uncertainty, but I guess that’s the whole point of OCD lol. You’ve been an amazing help bro, thank you
I didn’t see this post before I posted mine but I’m going through the same thing!
I’m so sorry; it can be overwhelming, draining, and feels so real. I feel for you. I find myself constantly wishing things could go back to before I started getting them lol but now we must face the uncertainty sadly
@Anonymous That’s true. It really does suck. And I’m not sure about you, but the more I think about them, the more real they feel or the stronger they come. It really does feel like you have to hold yourself back. It certainly makes you question your intentions. But there’s no other way around them but through them. I’m sorry you’re going through this, too.
@Catlove9 - Absolutely yes. The more I think about it or question my true intentions, the stronger they are and the more real they feel. Like there’s something in me waiting for the moment where the “good” side of me stops fighting it. It’s horrifying.
@Anonymous Yes. And then at some point it feels like you actually want to do it or you have to just for the feeling to go away and then it gets really scary.
@Catlove9 - Seriously and then, at least for me, every single day feels like I’m getting closer and closer to doing it. It’s seriously the worst thing I have ever experienced.
@Catlove9 do you guys ever feel like youre losing empathy or like youre becoming emotionally numb? cause thats whats happening for me right now and it scares me so bad because i feel like im actually turning “evil”
@yuliana.777 - Actually yes. I have been struggling with that and my theory is that we are emotionally exhausted, but I’m not a doctor so it is nothing but a theory. Either way you aren’t alone, and even when I do nice things for people my ocd brain can tell me I’m just lying and don’t actually want to be nice. Which then gets me ruminating on how I feel and why I feel it. Which is a mental compulsion apparently. I completely understand and have felt every thing you just said. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with it too.
@Anonymous well that actually makes sense considering we are fighting against our thoughts 24/7. but it sure feels nice to hear that someone can relate but im sorry you have to go through it as well :(
@yuliana.777 Yes. Totally. I question all my intentions and when I feel nothing, I question that as well.
I am struggling right now with intrusive harm urges. They feel real and it feels like I am going to act any second. It feels like I have to hold myself back, which is a scary thoughts. I am trying so hard not to compulse, but does anyone have tips on what they do in these situations?
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
Earlier I had what felt like an urge but I’m not sure. I’ve had urges before but this felt different as the object was in front of me (not intentional btw) , I’ve been quite stressed lately and my OCD is latching on to that. I had an urge to harm and within that I had like 2/3 intrusive images that came to mind, I couldn’t rationalise with it, I felt “stuck” when I came out of it I felt scared immediately was trying to work out why I’d even think of doing that & was very upset. A while after I keep getting thoughts like “say your goodbyes it won’t be long until you act out” I cried to my boyfriend and told him everything. How do I know if this was intent vs intrusive urge?
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