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@moon027097 I feel this way when i read ur posts lol our ocd is very alike. It’s so weird. And a lot of the times ill feel like i did something wrong because i know what’s to come.. it’s like fk here we go again. And I’ll start worrying like crazy! I hate it Sorry you go through this as well

@dee012 its nice to feel not so alone, but it sucks at the same time because it truly is brutal. ocd makes you question everything. over the past few days, i've been having false memories about something that might have happened in the past 2 weeks which i didn't even think possible. it makes you question everything or whether you're even fully aware of yourself half the time. ugh

@moon027097 I feel you. My false memories target things that happen 5 seconds prior. And it’s crazy because you feel like your doing something wrong and you question it which makes you feel like it’s real, Or You don’t think anything is wrong until days or hours later when you can’t remember every single detail And you still feel like it’s real. It’s so crazy Mine targets my pets :( it sucks. Like I’ll pet them or hold them or give them kisses and my ocd distorts it so bad. I hate it. I’m hyper aware of everything it’s like I can’t enjoy my kitties presence at all! I feel like crying all the time cus of ocd but also I feel like I can’t cry, im just so tireddddd. Like pls stop lol.

@dee012 aw im so sorry :( it's really frustrating especially when ocd targets something or someone you care about. it is the most demoralizing feeling in the world. i feel you so much on this. it's like trying so hard to be present just so that you're aware in case you do something wrong, and nothing happens. then days or weeks later, your brain is like... let me fill in the blanks. it's draining. and then even though I know i shouldn't fight the thoughts by now, i tell myself "you would 100% remember if you did something like that. look how much you're panicking now. you'd have felt so much worse in the very moment that it happened". but then my brain tries to come up with all the reasons why i'd do it and it's just... Even typing this now, I feel guilty because the memories feel so tangible and real and that i feel like I'm lying to myself and playing pretend. It's my biggest fear. I hate it. I understand exactly how you're feeling. Sending hugs and strength. 🫂🫂

@moon027097 Does it happen quick sometimes for u? Like the false memory Example u do something Then right after ur like omg did I do something bad But then u try to think abt it and it feels like u forgot But it literally JUST happened. I get those a lot now. Because I came to terms with old false memories way more in the past then it started doing this . Thank you for talking to me about this I appreciate it a lot and once again im sorry you are going through this. Fill in the blanks is so real… and it feels like I need to think and ruminate on it for hours… and im never satisfied. It feels like if I think just a little bit more… maybe the “truth” will be revealed to me so I end up replaying “memories” for such a long time. And then it feels like im walking on eggshells all day because im scared one day im gonna remember something too extreme. Hopefully this makes sense I hope you feel better Sending hugs as well

@dee012 yes, this happens for me too. it happened while i was watching videos in at the beginning of this year and i was so scared that id watched something bad a few minutes before so i literally went back on all the stuff i watched just to confirm that i hadn't even though i knew i never saw or looked for anything bad. It's happening for me now too with recent stuff, and i also feel like it's when i've come to terms with older stuff. and i feel you so much on thinking just one more time will be enough, and it never is enough. which just keeps the loop going on and on and on. and yet you can never seem to pull yourself out of it. it's like OCD tells you it's the only way to be safe, yet it's really just harming you. I know exactly how you feel. maybe tomorrow will be better 🫶🏽