Deleted post.

@Someone99 All humans have thoughts like this?

@Someone99 I’m more concerned about losing it, I understand they’re just thoughts and I feel a relief when I tell myself that but I’m worried like what if I do something

@Someone99 How is this Pocd 😭?

@Someone99 I can’t stop thinking about it I want to tell my psychiatrist but I’m scared she might say that it’s p

@Someone99 I told her and she wasn’t worried at all like how????? I had a thought of taking advantage of someone

@Someone99 I feel better now because I told her I can’t keep this to myself

@Someone99 Yes, like if I need to be locked up then I should

@Someone99 Is it normal for someone with Pocd feel like they like the thoughts?

@Someone99 Really, that’s OCD? I didn’t know it was

@Someone99 No you’re not

@Someone99 I was intentionally thinking of s stuff with my little cousin because I feel like I’m attracted like people with Pocd do y intentionally do that

@Someone99 Yeah thoughts are just thoughts

@Someone99 But what about with pedophilic disorder? You have to have thoughts

@Someone99 Have you ever spoken to a p before?

@Someone99 Oh, I just wanted you to compare me

@Someone99 But I don’t know, besides the thoughts and tge “attraction” I have the taping on a little mark of the wall the I have to swipe left and I have to swipe the right to like on pictures or it will make me uncomfortable I have the obsessive side eye stare I don’t do it intentionally I’ve had people tell me to stop staring at them I would feel comfortable wearing sunglasses

@Someone99 I don’t want to be a p

@Someone99 Hyper focus?

@Someone99 Ohhhh

@Someone99 OK, but can you freaking tell me why I mid rise up when I was listening to music and it felt like I was into the music and I wanted to go up to my little cousin I don’t know if I wanted to dance or walk around but I told my therapist and I still feel like shit and I feel like I did something really bad and I feel like I’m worse than a r

@Someone99 Positive stuff how?

@Someone99 I kinda believe that because sometimes it’s like watching a movie at the cinema

@Someone99 I wasn’t dissociating so that means I want it????

@Someone99 No, I don’t know how to describe it usually I like to listen to music and I just sit up but I don’t know

@Someone99 I don’t want to be a bad person I’m worried because how is that Pocd ???? I feel alone

@Idontknow Please reply to this

@Someone99 Isn’t that p because why would I want to enjoy it??? I’m worried right now I feel like I r worded him in my sleep while that was playing in my head

@Someone99 Sometimes it feels that way

@Someone99 Maybe it is pedophilic disorder…..

@Someone99 When you asked me that question it made me feel like I’m in denial because it’s like I don’t want to say yes because I don’t want to be labeled as a pedo

@Someone99 I don’t know how to describe it but it’s really not the same as I get turned on by a man I don’t know how to describe it

@Someone99 I’m worried about that because people with Pocd don’t experience that I have never acted on nothing and never will but these thoughts…..

@Someone99 I am not seeking reassurance My comment got that

@Someone99 What urges? Yes but why do I get them sometimes and it’s obsessive and I keep thinking about it like how is that Pocd? I literally took a nap because how upset I am and maybe because I’m distressed because of my “attractions” like a damn p

@Someone99 Well I do get urges so I’m doomed

@Someone99 Yes like the urges feel uncomfortable like it’s not arousal it’s like something I don’t know how to explain Well then explain why I “enjoy” the thoughts

@Someone99 You do???

@Someone99 I have this crush on this sk (I know I’m crazy) I do fantasize about him and now I can’t that much anymore because a kid pops up I can’t enjoy anything sexual anymore

@Someone99 I want that man so bad I want to write to him like I want him

@Someone99 Ed kemper

@Someone99 I don’t know because sometimes it’s an obsession like I don’t usually think about that

@Someone99 S.o?

@Someone99 I’m sorry I shouldn’t of said anything

@Someone99 Ohhhh

@Someone99 Yeah but that’s why I think I’m a p because I “enjoy” the thoughts like it’s so confusing

@Someone99 Maybe some day

@Someone99 Do you feel like you enjoy the thoughts?

@Someone99 Do you know someone who looks like Ed kemper???

@Someone99 Hell yeah, like I want him so bad ☹️ I don’t want him to reject me

@Someone99 Like sometimes I get the same thought of me riding this kid and it feels like I enjoy it like I’m not aroused but it feels like I enjoy it I don’t know how to explain it

@Someone99 I feel alone and worried like what if I lose control

@Someone99 Like that man to me is so hot I like his physical appearance like 😍

@Someone99 He’ll probably think I’m a freak 😞

@Someone99 Where can I find one????

@Someone99 But I want him he is the love of my life

@Someone99 I just like his physical appearance and his intelligence

@Someone99 I didn’t see this, no I do not, i have urges to do it but I don’t Like what person with pocd experience that?

@Someone99 No, I imagine being with him

@Someone99 Why?

@Someone99 What are you talking about???

@Someone99 Tomorrow, yes

@Someone99 What is a p? Do you think I am? Have you spoken to any on here???

@Someone99 Omg

@Someone99 The thoughts…

@Someone99 I wish I could talk to someone who has it worse because I feel like I’m the worst of all

@Someone99 I don’t know if this is normal with Pocd but I was sleeping in my room and my little cousin was on the other bed and I was having an urge and the heat was making it worse it’s like my body wanted to go to him so bad like this cannot be Pocd who has this???

@Someone99 Yes because I feel terrible person

@Someone99 People with ocd experience that?

@Someone99 24

@Idontknow ?

@Someone99 No

@Someone99 And why are you ignoring my response? People with OCD don’t have attraction towards minors

@Someone99 Yes

@Someone99 I don’t know, I’m scared that I’m lying about Pocd I showed her my notes and she said this to me “I think you should call your psychiatrist to talk about your medications to help you be able to manage until we do therapy. We can do 2x a week if that will he helpful.” Like she definitely thinks I am because why would she say 2x ???

@Someone99 I be thinking what if I lose control one day? Because I hug my pillow tight when I get these urges and it feels like my body wants to go to him so how is that OCD?

@Someone99 Yes she is

@Someone99 That’s odd I think it’s dangerous because it feels like my body wants to go to him like trying to pull me and I’m not letting it

@Someone99 I can’t because there’s only 2 bedrooms so it’s difficult it’s doesn’t happen all the time though

@Someone99 I’m not sure, difficult for me to answer that I don’t know what trauma even is

@Someone99 But sometimes I’m so angry at men that I think they’re all r and abusers

@Someone99 Maybe because all they wanna do is abuse me Verbal, sexually, mentally I’ve had guys who wanted to plan to r word me back in high school How would that relate to OCD? When I was living with my parents I wasn’t sexually assaulted but my dad was always complicated

@Someone99 Why lol

@Someone99 Like plan to have s with me and say they never wanted me

@Someone99 It wasn’t like that, his friend told him to pretend to like me and on my birthday to have s with me and then say he never liked me To me that would’ve been r

@Someone99 Isn’t that trauma bonding

@Someone99 No, because someone told me their plan it’s just sick like maybe it’s not a crime but I definitely would’ve reported that to the police and I once told a therapist about that and she was like that it seemed like he wanted to play you and that it’s not a crime

@Someone99 Oh

@Someone99 That’s what everyone does to me 😂 it’s weird to actually have someone genuinely interested in me Welcome to planet earth lmao

@Someone99 They're all the same. There's really nothing more to say other than that I'm not great.

@Someone99 Interesting lmao

@Someone99 I’m just saying it

@Someone99 If you look like Ed kemper I would date you

@Someone99 Dude is like in his 70s and I don’t care because his personality is still there

@Someone99 I just like the way he speaks and he’s very self aware like it’s such a shame because if he was in the real world doing a normal life I would definitely marry him

@Someone99 I know I have issues lol

@Someone99 Yeah, I don’t care I like his mind

@Someone99 🤣

@Someone99 Lmao, more like a mental case

@Someone99 🤣

@Someone99 I’m not doing ok, and I don’t know what being ok is

@Someone99 How are you??

@Someone99 You keep your self busy so you don’t have time to think??? I think that would be great

@Someone99 I have to do the same

@Someone99 I don’t do anything I’m isolated in my home all day I’m online school I think being inside of day is triggering me

@Someone99 A walk in a rainy day

@Someone99 Yeah, the 4 walls got me crazy lmao

@Someone99 I don’t know how to write one

@Someone99 Does it?

@Someone99 I tried and I can’t lmao

@Someone99 Like it feels like I want to think about it and enjoy it and I’m so confused because I don’t think about this every day so what is this??

@Someone99 Good morning, like I don’t know how to explain it but when I get those thoughts it feels like I want to fantasize about it so how is that Pocd I’m still thinking about it

@Someone99 It does feel like that because right now I’m not even thinking about it like I’m so confused I feel very alone and like an actual p because that’s how they think?

@Someone99 They fantasize about them in a s way

@Someone99 It would be pointless to ask me that because I’m always going to say no

@Someone99 How are you?

@Someone99 I don’t want to be friends with anyone because people just go and leave for no apparent reason it happen to me this morning I noticed it like I just can’t believe it because if it was here only but this person gave me their number and we were talking I guess building a normal connection and I get the surprise of being blocked That is so hurtful and I feel like people do that to me on purpose because why even want to get close to me then if I creep you out? Or I don’t know because I don’t even know wtf did I even do but it just shows how precious honesty is

@Someone99 No, I just think you get attached to people

@Someone99 I was talking about that girl like I can’t stand people because it’s like they do it on purpose to trigger me because fear of abandonment is a trigger for me and the fact that she did that like it was so hurtful and I literally logged in on Facebook to check to see if she blocked me and she did because I can see her profile and I sent her a paragraph and maybe I’m a creep for that for searching her up and trying to get a valid explanation because that that was so like appalling to me that somebody would do that because I don’t I don’t know what the hell did I even do?

@Someone99 Yeah, but I don’t know like I just get attached like when somebody’s over here asking for my number and asking for information like outside of this app because if it was inside of this app and somebody were blocked me, you know I wouldn’t. I would just be like oh like you know why did I get blocked but not like be that hurt about it because you know

@Someone99 Literally blocked me everywhere like people are so odd

@Someone99 People are a bunch of liars

@Someone99 I appreciate you, thank you!!!

@Someone99 lol, that made me smile

@Someone99 You do

@Someone99 This is a learning lesson, the more I experience life the more wiser I get and I have the wisdom of a 40 year old, I’ve been through it all but it’s genuinely my fault because I’m the one who get emotional attached to people who don’t value or respect others I live in a world where people are cruel and selfish

@Someone99 I wish I was a narcissist, I wouldn’t give a damn only me all the time I’m tired of feeling deeply

@Someone99 Dummy? Why???

@Someone99 What do you mean making an ass out of you??

@Someone99 What is that?

@Someone99 Hard to find a real person in this world

@Someone99 I live in the US

@Someone99 Yes

@Someone99 It’s either intp-infp

@Someone99 Haha!!!

@Someone99 I’m not sure if I’m that empathetic because I can be very mean when I’m disrespected Vibrant thought life?

@Someone99 Ohhhh

@Someone99 Yeah….somewhat my brain is a mess

@Someone99 I really don’t care, I’m sick and tired of everything all I get is walked all over and abused

@Someone99 It is my fault

@Someone99 About the situation?

@Someone99 I had met some girl on here and she was very nice and even gave me her phone number I didn’t even ask for it she gave me her fb and snap we would talk I would tell her about the pedo thoughts and the fact that I’m interested in dangerous criminals in a romantic way I would go to her for reassurance One day I noticed that her snap was not there and I went to her to ask what did I do and she said she “deleted it” we had a phone call I was very shy but was willing to speak I was honest about how I get attached to people but I do respect peoples spaces I understand that people get busy Yes around 8 am was the last time we spoke I told her about how I didn’t feel good about my therapist and she recommended her therapist and what not The last thing I said was “ok” around 9am, today I checked my fb and I noticed her profile was gone and I went to message her and it doesn’t say delivered or anything so she definitely blocked me like wtf?

@Someone99 It’s my fault

@Someone99 What I sent you.

@Someone99 I sent you the story

@Someone99 Never mind

@Someone99 i literally sent you the story

@Someone99 No.

@Someone99 I did like twice

@Someone99 Bruh

@Someone99 Another liar

@Someone99 I just wanted advice maybe I’m in the wrong and I’m just mentally unstable

@Someone99 That doesn’t exist

@Someone99 🤮

@Someone99 I don’t have one imm very picky and I love red

@Someone99 Yes, I watch a lot of Ed kemper documentaries 😍

@Someone99 No

@Someone99 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Someone99 What?

@Someone99 I am awake

@Someone99 Who struggled with p?

@Someone99 Well, that person probably was dealing with stuff who knows

@Someone99 I would feel hurt if I was called a p like damn

@Someone99 Why you said p then?

@Someone99 Yeah, why didn’t you give your information?

@Someone99 You wanted to????

@Someone99 Your name is on your profile too

@Someone99 lol I can see your intro

@Someone99 @Idontknow A couple weeks ago I was talking to a young lady, she said in her 20's, >>>>>>>>who struggled with p. <<<<<<<< I cared so much for her. One night I told her I wanted to adopt her. A few minutes later all of our conversation was deleted and I think she blocked me. So, that's why I ask if I'm annoying. I get too attached emotionally and say things that people may not like. I don't mean harm.

@Someone99 Someone may have what?

@Someone99 Did you watch the video I sent?

@Someone99 💀

@Someone99 Probably you in McDonalds

@Someone99 I don’t understand what you’re saying “I think someone may have”

@Someone99 Just for laughs

@Someone99 💀💀💀

@Someone99 Did you at laugh?

@Someone99 wtf

@Someone99 The video

@Someone99 That’s crazy

@Someone99 Bruhhhh

@Someone99 💀💀💀💀

@Someone99 I feel bad like I would’ve oofed myself if I had been called that oh hell no

@Someone99 The therapist probably wasn’t educated on Pocd that therapist would probably think I’m a p too because of these thoughts

@Someone99 Laughing

@Someone99 I don’t know but that’s crazy