I’m feeling bad now and scared

Hey everyone, I’m going through something that really shook me up and triggered my OCD. Today I was talking to my mom about how people in our family have been talking badly about my cousin, who’s 17 and pregnant. I haven’t told my cousin anything about what they’re saying, because I don’t want to add any stress to her. I’ve honestly tried to protect her from all the drama. But then my mom told me to be careful about what I say to her, because she’s really worried my cousin could have a miscarriage from stress. She said if that happened and I had told my cousin anything, it would be my fault. I think my mom meant it out of concern, like she just wants to protect my cousin—but the way she said it came off as really harsh and it hurt me. Especially because I’ve never said anything to my cousin and I would never want to cause her any stress. Now my OCD is grabbing onto that fear. Even though I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s making me feel like, “What if something happens to the baby and it somehow ends up being your fault?” Logically, I know that doesn’t make sense. But the guilt and anxiety feel so real, and it’s hard to shake.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

I’m really sorry you’re struggling with this situation but you have to keep in mind this is just OCD looking for another way to make you feel guilty, that’s just what it does. Also keep in mind that the situation itself is not relevant, if it wasn’t this one it would definitely be another one that OCD would latch onto and try to make you feel guilty over. Nothing you say could directly cause a miscarriage, I know you know that but it’s important to ground yourself in the reality of the situation every now and then. OCD creates this illusion that you have all the power in the world to cause harm to others but it’s not the truth, it’s just a distortion caused by the disorder. It will always try to overcomplicate things and make it seem like somehow, you could be at fault for things that happen. And no matter what OCD says it’s all lies, but I know it’s not easy to believe that when you are struggling with these thoughts. I hope you feel better though!

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 21w

@andrewt_ Ty so much you always say really great things!! Yesterday was bad it felt I had full responsibility and control it was almost to a point where I felt like I needed to ask her if she’s okay or if I said anything that upset her even tho LOGICALLY I DIDNT 😭🙏🏽

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@andrea_sam730 I’m really sorry you were dealing with those thoughts :( but they don’t ever reflect the truth. You have a strong moral compass and OCD likes to take advantage of that. But OCD is just a master manipulator and nothing more. You got this !

moon0270

Date posted: 21w

OCD loves to latch on to things or people you care about, and it's very clear here you care a lot about your cousin's wellbeing. im sorry that what your mom said triggered this fear. she did probably mean it out of concern, but I can see why the way she said it would be incredibly hurtful. like andrew said above though, nothing you could say in any way is going to directly cause a miscarriage. but like you said as well, you recognise that what OCD is telling you doesn't make sense. but OCD always makes the emotions feel so real. it's never easy to do, but i hope that you can sit with this and that these feelings will pass.you care very much about the people around you and that is what is important here.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 21w

@moon027097 Yess ty so much for replying today I think I feel better and bit over it 😓🙏🏽 it can be harder for me bc I’m very sensitive 😭😭

moon0270

Date posted: 21w

@andrea_sam730 glad you're feeling better!!

Anony1314

Date posted: 23w

A VERY distressed mom. Someone anyone help!

Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 23w

Is this truly an OCD episode? Just a mom trying

Just a little side note: I know this post has been made MANY times by me. However, I had a therapist respond to my post today saying that I need to reach out to my therapist on this because the context was not clear. This made me more stressed and ruminate more. It's not the therapist fault; but not I wonder if I'm really the monster. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow) but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD?

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 23w

I'm seriously depressed. Idk what to do or think.

So I dealt with something a couple weeks ago that's caused me DEBILITATING anxiety. I just want to know if this follows the OCD pattern. I talked with my therapist and she confused me. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. I was doing SO well! Is this really the POCD I was diagnosed with?

POCD

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