I’m feeling bad now and scared

Hey everyone, I’m going through something that really shook me up and triggered my OCD. Today I was talking to my mom about how people in our family have been talking badly about my cousin, who’s 17 and pregnant. I haven’t told my cousin anything about what they’re saying, because I don’t want to add any stress to her. I’ve honestly tried to protect her from all the drama. But then my mom told me to be careful about what I say to her, because she’s really worried my cousin could have a miscarriage from stress. She said if that happened and I had told my cousin anything, it would be my fault. I think my mom meant it out of concern, like she just wants to protect my cousin—but the way she said it came off as really harsh and it hurt me. Especially because I’ve never said anything to my cousin and I would never want to cause her any stress. Now my OCD is grabbing onto that fear. Even though I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s making me feel like, “What if something happens to the baby and it somehow ends up being your fault?” Logically, I know that doesn’t make sense. But the guilt and anxiety feel so real, and it’s hard to shake.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

I’m really sorry you’re struggling with this situation but you have to keep in mind this is just OCD looking for another way to make you feel guilty, that’s just what it does. Also keep in mind that the situation itself is not relevant, if it wasn’t this one it would definitely be another one that OCD would latch onto and try to make you feel guilty over. Nothing you say could directly cause a miscarriage, I know you know that but it’s important to ground yourself in the reality of the situation every now and then. OCD creates this illusion that you have all the power in the world to cause harm to others but it’s not the truth, it’s just a distortion caused by the disorder. It will always try to overcomplicate things and make it seem like somehow, you could be at fault for things that happen. And no matter what OCD says it’s all lies, but I know it’s not easy to believe that when you are struggling with these thoughts. I hope you feel better though!

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 24w

@andrewt_ Ty so much you always say really great things!! Yesterday was bad it felt I had full responsibility and control it was almost to a point where I felt like I needed to ask her if she’s okay or if I said anything that upset her even tho LOGICALLY I DIDNT 😭🙏🏽

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

@andrea_sam730 I’m really sorry you were dealing with those thoughts :( but they don’t ever reflect the truth. You have a strong moral compass and OCD likes to take advantage of that. But OCD is just a master manipulator and nothing more. You got this !

moon0270

Date posted: 24w

OCD loves to latch on to things or people you care about, and it's very clear here you care a lot about your cousin's wellbeing. im sorry that what your mom said triggered this fear. she did probably mean it out of concern, but I can see why the way she said it would be incredibly hurtful. like andrew said above though, nothing you could say in any way is going to directly cause a miscarriage. but like you said as well, you recognise that what OCD is telling you doesn't make sense. but OCD always makes the emotions feel so real. it's never easy to do, but i hope that you can sit with this and that these feelings will pass.you care very much about the people around you and that is what is important here.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 24w

@moon027097 Yess ty so much for replying today I think I feel better and bit over it 😓🙏🏽 it can be harder for me bc I’m very sensitive 😭😭

moon0270

Date posted: 24w

@andrea_sam730 glad you're feeling better!!

Holl1

Date posted: 23w

OCD

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭

Harm OCD

ughhhh

Date posted: 19w

Coping techniques before i freak out?

Advice, coping techniques, just distraction needed. Yesterday night, my parents asked me if I could take care of my baby brother and I’ve been wanting to help them out so of course I said yes, and I was taking care of him with my other brother. A big fear of mine that I’ve told my therapist about is that my OCD will latch on to my new baby brother. It hasn’t happened since he has come home with us, but now I feel like something is brewing. My little brother is prone to throwing up so he already got the shirt He was wearing all dirty so I went to my mom‘s room and decided to change his onesie. I called my other brother for help by helping me sit him up while I put the shirt over his head after the shirt went over his head. My other brother was walking out and that’s when I clipped the buttons on the bottom of the onesie and continued to carry him around the house, but it’s that action that my mind is obsessing over. Me clipping the buttons of my baby brother’s onesie. I can’t get over it. My mind keeps replaying that one thing because my thoughts are saying “oh what if you accidentally inappropriately touched him “ and I even went out of my way to avoid touching his diaper because I knew my head would start spinning shit like this. But ever since last night, I can’t stop thinking if I accidentally traumatized my little brother some how. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve helped my mom change my brother‘s clothes before. My parents literally check his diaper if he soiled himself, but when I do anything that has to do with making sure my brother is clean and healthy my head tries to make me feel sick and crazy. The thoughts are getting worse and getting to the point where my head is trying to make me feel like I’m weird for wanting to change my brother out of his dirty clothes. I’m just so scared that these thoughts are gonna get worse and I’m trying not to freak out right now so I went for a walk outside. But im still getting such intense anxiety. I dont know how to cope or what to do advice coping techniques would be a such a help ive been doing so good with avoiding compulsions. I just need help to ground myself. I dont want to go to my mom with this ill feel worse. Is me writing this a compulsion?

mamabear0202

Date posted: 16w

Irrational fears as a mom.

Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what I’m about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born I’ve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and I’d get my baby taken from me. I’ve NEVER had anyone tell me I’m a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think I’m a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think I’m a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and someone think I’m not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasn’t magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I don’t open up because I feel like I’m the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m failing as a mom. I don’t even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I don’t want them to think I’m a bad mom. It just doesn’t stop.

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I’m feeling bad now and scared

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