My life is a nightmare

@Carla. C I know that somewhere, but sometimes I really think because of that foreboding that I feel and imagine, and I deliberately let it go because it presses me, that I'm actually just with that darkness inside me..

@Someone99 of course ...

@Someone99 I believe in God, I fast, I pray every night and I know that he hasn't given me anything that I can't do...but sometimes it's too hard...to think that he doesn't hear me...but I certainly try to be the right person first for myself...

@Someone99 I will try... Thank you very much ❤️

@Someone99 I know... sometimes that's how I feel...

@Someone99 so actually those sexual scenes, feelings and the feeling of constant "arousal" when I do erp, or I just "let them go". and I've been wandering there for years... The urges, the feeling that I can get excited, to do something, during intimacy, the urge to touch myself...actually that feeling turns me around...and the question...how can I imagine it in such detail if I don't have something like that?!

@Someone99 yes, I'm getting married soon..and I'd also like a family, hello, I definitely don't know how I'm going to do it..my partner understands everything I have, but it seems to me that it's not just OCD because of all that! And you? What are your struggles?

@Someone99 ooo I thought you were someone very young. I'm glad to talk to someone experienced. I'm 37..I'm not very young either, but I just didn't dare before... Well done.. Well, my thoughts say that if I am able to feel something like "arousal", it means that there is something in me that is perverse, and since I don't control it like that...and always one i can discount... considering my topic, it's quite difficult for me and I really feel punished... I'm so envious of people who raise their children in peace... without that..

@Someone99 I just went to confession yesterday... thank you for the advice, I'm really into it myself. As for this about ocd, thank you very much for your unselfish advice and listening and if you have your own trouble... I know it's just thoughts, but the body and the reaction excite me..those feelings..if I could say "I'm really attracted to them" sarcastically, I'd be overjoyed... how are you How do you fight yours?

@Someone99 so I've been doing ERP for 3 months and more, but it's still very strong during exercise. It also occurs during intimacy, and it occurs as an idea of ​​a type (maybe it stimulates me, maybe I can imagine it while I'm intimate with someone or alone) and then I get an urge, and a lot of stress... I get stuck there and I don't know how to get out... You say you had something similar? how did you get over that?

@Someone99 and how to come to that...if that were my topic, I would be overjoyed 😞...