My life is a nightmare

@Carla. C I know that somewhere, but sometimes I really think because of that foreboding that I feel and imagine, and I deliberately let it go because it presses me, that I'm actually just with that darkness inside me..

Not the Easter bunny, of course. The death and resurrection. Are you interested in faith?

@Someone99 of course ...

@Anonimus ME🫥 Cool. I don't want to force the conversation, but I'd love to talk more about it. For me, my relationship with God is everything, gives me hope in any circumstance, and has enabled me to overcome a lot of darkness

@Someone99 I believe in God, I fast, I pray every night and I know that he hasn't given me anything that I can't do...but sometimes it's too hard...to think that he doesn't hear me...but I certainly try to be the right person first for myself...

@Anonimus ME🫥 Well, Jesus is the one through whom we have access to God. Yes Jesus is God. Upon receiving Jesus as our Savior, meaning nothing else, and knowing we are without hope without Jesus, no plan B, we receive the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, and lights up the darkness inside. Sometimes religious actions can become a compulsion. Search your heart, are you relying on the fasting, praying, etc, or are you coming to God as a child to her Father? God hears you, He knows everything about iand He draws near to us when we draw near to Him. Seek him as a child seeks her Father. :-)

@Someone99 I will try... Thank you very much ❤️

@Anonimus ME🫥 Just be sure to calm the OCD as well. OCD can make it impossible to "feel" close to God. :-)

@Someone99 I know... sometimes that's how I feel...

@Anonimus ME🫥 I figured, because that's what I experienced for years. So, let's talk about your thoughts, what keeps you spinning?

@Someone99 so actually those sexual scenes, feelings and the feeling of constant "arousal" when I do erp, or I just "let them go". and I've been wandering there for years... The urges, the feeling that I can get excited, to do something, during intimacy, the urge to touch myself...actually that feeling turns me around...and the question...how can I imagine it in such detail if I don't have something like that?!

@Anonimus ME🫥 I can understand because I go through similar things as well. "This must mean I'm ...." Fill in the blank, OCD. Are you married or in a relationship?

@Someone99 yes, I'm getting married soon..and I'd also like a family, hello, I definitely don't know how I'm going to do it..my partner understands everything I have, but it seems to me that it's not just OCD because of all that! And you? What are your struggles?

@Anonimus ME🫥 That's awesome, congratulations! I am married, we have 2 sons together, both in their 20's (yes, I'm old 🫣 Lol). My worst themes are real event, s.o., and p pops it's ugly face in occasionally. Lol. It's awesome your partner is aware of it, that type of communication leads to intimacy that will last long term. What do your thoughts tell you you are?

@Someone99 ooo I thought you were someone very young. I'm glad to talk to someone experienced. I'm 37..I'm not very young either, but I just didn't dare before... Well done.. Well, my thoughts say that if I am able to feel something like "arousal", it means that there is something in me that is perverse, and since I don't control it like that...and always one i can discount... considering my topic, it's quite difficult for me and I really feel punished... I'm so envious of people who raise their children in peace... without that..

@Anonimus ME🫥 One thing OCD does to us is causes us to condemn ourselves. Thoughts, feelings, urges and attractions are what it attached to. You haven't done anything wrong, so you're not a monster, you don't deserve punishment. Keep the communication open with your partner, especially after marriage. And meet each others need emotionally, and intimately. That's honored in God's eyes, that's why God gave us the gift of marriage. So, the thoughts of "this must mean I'm...", don't, it doesn't mean anything, it's a thought. Allow it, separate from it, respond with sarcasm even, like "yeah right, like I really want to...".

@Anonimus ME🫥 And most importantly, when you confess to God, claim 1 John 1:9 :If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Meaning, you will be forgiven, but not just forgiven, cleansed or purified...!!! That's awesome, done, signed sealed and delivered, God's promise!!!

@Someone99 I just went to confession yesterday... thank you for the advice, I'm really into it myself. As for this about ocd, thank you very much for your unselfish advice and listening and if you have your own trouble... I know it's just thoughts, but the body and the reaction excite me..those feelings..if I could say "I'm really attracted to them" sarcastically, I'd be overjoyed... how are you How do you fight yours?

@Anonimus ME🫥 It takes time to get to the point of being able to add sarcasm. For me, it took a few months of ERP therapy. As I did the exposures and learned effective response tools, I then was able to laugh at the most distressing thoughts. I literally started laughing in a therapy session over it! So give it time. And it's not linear, there are still bad days. Do these things pop up for you during intimacy? That was, and is the worst for me

@Someone99 so I've been doing ERP for 3 months and more, but it's still very strong during exercise. It also occurs during intimacy, and it occurs as an idea of ​​a type (maybe it stimulates me, maybe I can imagine it while I'm intimate with someone or alone) and then I get an urge, and a lot of stress... I get stuck there and I don't know how to get out... You say you had something similar? how did you get over that?

@Anonimus ME🫥 For me during intimacy, s.o.ocd was disturbing me and really kinda ruined things. Lol. But, that was one where, as I explain it, I never realized how not gay I am until I acknowledged, allowed, and released. Not I can respond with sarcasm, like "yeah right, sure I'm gay".

@Someone99 and how to come to that...if that were my topic, I would be overjoyed 😞...

@Anonimus ME🫥 Well, as a guy, having intrusive thoughts about being with another man during intimacy isn't all that pleasant. Lol. But I understand how p is like a nuclear reaction. Just continue in the ERP therapy. I hope you're discovering response tools that will help. Also, being open communicating with your partner is very important and valuable, even in intimate moments. Maybe something a long the lines of roleplay with him? 🫣 Some way to release this in a healthy way. Just sayin. Lol. Remember your values. These thoughts and urges are so disturbing because it's against your values, that's what OCD does, and why we want to fight it.