I wish I could be religious

Hopefully ppl aren’t offended by this, I put a trigger warning so religious ppl don’t feel attacked hopefully. Religion seems so healing to people, but I just don’t believe in god and can’t force myself to. I can’t force a belief, and it sucks because (no shade to religious people) religious people seem so carefree and mindless to me. No religion is nice in my head, they’re all just fake. I believe in science and reality. I wish I could believe in god so I could stop thinking about the science.

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 4d ago

I feel you. It’s not that I don’t want peace — I just can’t lie to myself to get it. Sometimes I envy those who believe without wrestling with it. But then again, maybe the fact that we can’t blindly believe… means we’re cursed with a different kind of honesty. And yeah, OCD doesn’t make this easier — it latches onto uncertainty like a leech. But just know: you’re not defective for wanting evidence. You’re not broken for not “just believing.” Your mind is searching because it cares deeply — and that, in itself, is human. — Rayan

jjtornado

Date posted: 3d ago

@Rayanswaid Exactly this

alxsfn

Date posted: 4d ago

This is exactly how I feel, I want to believe in a religion or God to make my existential OCD better, but it just seems like a sham

jjtornado

Date posted: 4d ago

@alxsfn Exactly! It just makes me feel like I have to (for lack of better terms) dumb myself down to be religious.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d ago

I'm in the same situation too. I have tried to believe before when I was younger, but I always end up "logic-ing" myself out of it. There is always agnosticism, but I feel it will always end up the same way as religion.

mariahlexie

Date posted: Yesterday

This is genuinely so relatable. I wrote about this in my journal earlier: “Many agnostics and atheists pride themselves on what they see as intellectual superiority—a steadfast rejection of the idea that existence must have some deeper meaning, that we possess souls destined to transcend our physical forms. I don't share that pride. In truth, I envy the religious. Despite the lack of concrete evidence or scientific proof of an afterlife, they believe anyway. They’re spared the endless mental wrestling I endure—hours consumed by intrusive thoughts about the inevitable, forced to sit with that discomfort alone.”

jjtornado

Date posted: 21h ago

@mariahlexie That’s exactly it right there

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 25w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

Jesuslover28

Date posted: 19w ago

Idk what to do

I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....

flowerpetals

Date posted: 5w ago

frustrating

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.

Harm OCD

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I wish I could be religious

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