Solo ERP for POCD

@Stephanie Rathje I regret doing it because now I have severe groinal responses and I locked my room fearing I am gonna be a predator. What really triggered me is a picture on google images that represents a rape case of a minor. It was an article on ResearchGate I clicked on the intention of finding baby genitalia to do ERP turns out its a teenager genitalia and when I read the text I panicked and had instant groinal response with arousal but my arousal was in my head like I didn’t enjoy it because its couples with severe anxiety and now I feel terrible. Aside from OCD I have PTSD from CP I saw on twitter by accident and now I feel irritated

@davisgi24 Im literally helpless, I have no money to afford it online and therapists here do not have the ability to do ERP for my themes, I feel irritated and afraid of the future. I am so lonely 😭 in my late twenties.

@1meow$$$A I understand, I really really do. I have POCD also. The idea of ERP is to exposure yourself to something that triggers you, and then learn to sit with the uncertainty that your brain responds with. So when you’re triggered and your brain is saying “what if I’m attracted to minors?”, the idea is to teach your brain to respond neutrally to that question. Response prevention messages are phrases you use to reply to your OCD brain when it asks those questions. Things like “maybe, but maybe not.” or “no amount of rumination on this is going to make me certain, so I may as well not ruin my own day by obsessing about it!” These teach your brain to respond to these thoughts like it would any other mundane thought. If you absolutely insist on doing exposures by yourself, it is SO important to start really, really small. Instead of doing something big like googling photos, try something like looking at clothes in the children’s section of a store, or reading a children’s book. It reminds you of a trigger, and causes a little bit of distress, but it doesn’t take you right to ten and cause further trauma.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Please I beg you , I am so alone in this journey.. I attempted suicide twice and I sadly live in an arab country that doesn’t even acknowledge OCD yet as a mental illness. They either relate to superstition or say its just a phase. I would tie myself before I sleep fearing I will act out and rape my family , I have avoided my elder sis which I miss so much because she has nieces, I lost a job and now I am on the verge of losing this one too.. I fear that all my sexual obsessions represent me and I am just lying to myself because I fear the law or culture. I am in my late twenties and feel like a fragile child. Please if you have any tips about ERP , recovery .. anything I will always be grateful.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Hello sis may I reach out to you?

@1meow$$$A I’ll reply soon, when I get the chance to gather my thoughts. You’re not alone, I can promise you that

@Lollipop3737 What if I am a pedo but in denial or a non offending pedo, my groins would twitch and move and sometimes erect but I have this huge fear and racing heart.

@HOY I did it because I suffered enough and wanted to expose myself to my fears in a moral way 🥹 but I am an unlucky person! Even google images is not monitored, I seen an abuse picture now I am on the verge of relapse

@1meow$$$A Yeah I absolutely understand you. I tried doing the same thing but it backfired cause I would end up doubting myself even more. Especially since google has messed up stuff underneath it, so we have to be careful about that

@HOY Can you share practical ERP exercises that I can do without harming myself more

@1meow$$$A I don't know cause I haven't been taught ERP yet, thats I why I attempted it on my own even though I shouldnt have, so I'm waiting as of now

@HOY I wish you well brother , I have never thought I would have to witness this in my life. I never enjoyed my twenties because of this.

@1meow$$$A you and me both bro, turned 20 months ago and its already been hell 😪✊️