ROCD/False Memory

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

Ih8ocd!

Date posted: 20w

Hi, hope you’re doing well, I get this a lot too, I think I’ve cheated orcommitted some terrible crime, and after nights out my mind makes up memories of me cheating and the more I try to disprove them, the foggier the memory gets, which makes it easier for my ocd to say ‘oh well you could have cheated then’ and this sends me into a spiral

.Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

@Ih8ocd! Ah yes! I’m all too familiar with this. To be honest this is how my ocd started around going out and getting the anxiety the next day. Now I could be plain cold sober and I’ve convinced myself I’ve done something

Ih8ocd!

Date posted: 20w

@.Anonymous Yeah mines like that now, i stopped drinking because of it, i was in a bar the other night and just walked past a person and my mind was like ‘oh what if you got with that person just there’ , I don’t know why i think I would get with someone sober and not remember but ocd doesn’t really care about logic, and now I’ve thought about it so much over the last few days that my memory is all jumbled, best thing to do for the thoughts we get I suppose is just do something else to take your mind off it whenever the thought comes up

.Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

@Ih8ocd! Honestly it’s like reading my own ocd! I’ve done the exact same thing before. Honestly I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve thought this. It’s awful! Feel free to come back to this post whenever to talk. It’s nice to have someone who understands as ocd can be so lonely

trueblue

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w

hey, i hope you’re doing well. the above comment comes off pretty harsh and i want to say we are very similar and someone said something just like the other comment to me once. especially the becoming a stripper part was said to me. i want you to know that you’re not alone in your experience. i crave validation from others due to my childhood SA trauma, and to some regard, that commenter is right. the first place to start is to dive deeper into yourself and find out why you crave validation/are insecure. it’s soo much work but healing is worth it. healing from trauma will absolutely help your OCD. i do have to disagree with what they said about you’ve already cheated. talk to your partner about it if you already haven’t and let you guys together decide how to approach it and how you can support each other. remember you are strong for recognizing the self destructive behavior in the first place that is half the battle for most people. you’ve got this, you’re worthy and capable of change. ♥️

.Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

@trueblue Hey! I removed that comment because it is extremely triggering to myself and others. Not that I need to explain myself to anyone but my partner is aware of everything and I’m the most upfront and honest with her. Not too sure why being a stripper was mentioned or the bible at all. This site is meant to help sufferers not trigger them. Thank you for your lovely comment though, that was much appreciated. I’ve always been insecure more to do with my appearance. I’m also a flirty person - always have been. That comment was not needed at all and I have reported it. Thank you again for yours as it means a lot! I just wanted to know if I was the only one, not be told I’m a stripper lol

rbaker247

Date posted: 20w

yeah you're right , I read that again after I posted it and I thought man that did come off kind of harsh it wasn't intended that way but yeah it sure came across that way

rbaker247

Date posted: 20w

@.Anonymous my apologies again , I realize that you understood the context of what I was saying and I do apologize for it coming across so harsh I didn't realize that till a little later on ,

mhassan0117

Date posted: 20w

Relationship memory and false ocd for me? Like my bfs stuff consuming me? Yeah before focusing on disgusting themes like Z and P For example I used to worry about him cheating on me on grindr… which he did a lot So it was all real stuff but of course false for me.

.Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

@mhassan0117 Awful isn’t it! Mines to do with me cheating though and not my partner. A lot of my ocd themes focuses on other people and me harming/hurting them. I never feel it towards myself. Crazy how it affects everyone differently but similar at the same time!

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

Dalia H.

Date posted: 17w

Tired of constantly questioning intentions.

Despite the fact that I have never once acted flirtatiously with someone else over the course of my 3-year relationship, never talked to anyone inappropriately, never touched or interacted with anyone inappropriately, I have been battling constant ROCD obsessions centered around cheating ever since my partner and I got together. I am constantly worried about whether certain things are cheating: daydreaming about another person (already told my partner about this and he said it was okay and that he does it too), talking in a group chat with someone, sitting next to someone, speaking to them in person. I question my intentions. I worry that I cheated by wearing my hair a certain way in an attempt to look more attractive or by jokingly poking someone with a fake sword (despite doing it to other people too), looking through someone’s social media, etc. I have confessed so many ridiculous things to my partner and he’s always told me that none of them are cheating. I feel so guilty for being attracted to someone else, despite the fact that my partner said it was fine and normal. I have made a very very conscious effort to limit my interactions with this person. I never ever ever ever message them privately, I make an obsessive effort to NOT reply to their messages in a group server (constantly keeping track of the ratio of my replies to their messages compared to other people’s), to ignore them when I see them in person and hardly ever speak to them or initiate conversation with them. Yet I still feel like a disgusting dirty cheater who is hiding a big secret.

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 14w

Always wondering

Hey everyone I know I’ve mentioned this before but, I wanted to share again just in case if anyone new sees this. I deal with cheating ocd really bad, like I always have thoughts about the past and such and get worried about things. I know my morals and values and I know id never ever cheat, but my mind always loves to play the “What if” game. It really sucks. My boyfriend is the sweetest and a god sent to me and he is always there for me but ugh this ocd dealing with cheating and false memory/real events kills me, anyone else relate? I dont know how to put up with it anymore, Just today I remembered I had an old twitter account which is now X, but I remembered I deleted my account a long long time ago but ugh I used to be on twitter so much awhile ago and my ocd acted up and was like “You better go check to make sure you didn’t do anything.” And I remembered I sat with myself and said “I know my morals I would never do that to him.” And then my ocd was like “Are you sure? What if you did?” Etc and my anxiety is now so bad about it now :(

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