Should I disregard this as ocd? I’m not looking for reassurance I’m looking for support and advice I’ve been stressing for months over symptoms being related to STDs which in my head would result in my partner thinking I cheated and leaving me. I’ve had issues with my eye (conjunctivitis then a blocked gland. It’s legitimately possible to get conjunctivitis from STDs which is why I made the connection) I still have the blocked gland in my eye and everytime I go near my eye I wash my hands “incase it is an Std and I infect my partner and myself and he leaves. I’m terrified of not washing my hands after I scratch my face, ESPECIALLY near my eye, my makeup sponges feel contaminated and if I cry and the tears go in my mouth I’m convinced I got chlamydia or gohnorea in my mouth and I’ll transfer it to him and he will think I’m a wrong un The optician says it’s just a blocked gland and if she thought it was std related she’d send me to the clinic herself, but I can’t stop thinking it’s possible she’s wrong and I’ll infect myself and my partner I want to disregard this but I haven’t had my eye swabbed so I can’t

I’ve been tested about 6 times This year

@uwotm8 Aha... I think I've had the same thing happen to my eye a couple of times. it would be swell up and be really painful for a while and then it would go away by itself. I don't remember what it's called but it's something that happens by itself. if you didn't do anything with anybody and you didn't like shove something dirty into your eye, and there's no way you got an STD...

@? ilshid I’m worried “what if I have had one in my eye all this time but my other areas somehow didn’t pick up the same infection, and only now the symptoms have shown up, how will I explain where the std in my eye came from?” Cuz everyone says you won’t have it in your eye without it being in your genitals - but what if I have? He wouldn’t believe me, then and he will leave me thinking I must have cheated and I will literally fucking end my shit Im scared I CAN pass one from my eye to genitals by not being careful with hand washing

@uwotm8 I see... then I think that educating yourself about that particular STD and STDs in general would help you because your brain will see but that is impossible!

@? ilshid Is it though? Because you legitimately can get STDs in your eye and it cause conjunctivitis so why not the other way around?

@uwotm8 Like basically what if my conjunctivitis was caused by STDs and I transfer that STD to my vagina and then to my partner

@uwotm8 You can indeed get them in your eye, but a person with the STD has to get bodily fluids near or into your eye for that to happen. If you didn't have any such contact with another person, and you didn't put questionable things into your eye, then it is not an STD... If this is a genuine medical concern, you can get yourself tested again. But if you can rationally reach the conclusion that it is not, then obsessing about it is only hurting you..

@? ilshid Well I’m worried “what if my ex gave me one almost two years ago and it’s only now appeared as symptoms?”

@uwotm8 I don't think that's how these STDs work.. that could happen with HIV (somebody giving it to you a long time ago and the symptoms only appearing much later) but it doesn't happen with chlamydia and gonorrhea (which are the two STDs I found that you can get in your eye)

@? ilshid I’m fucking broken aren’t I ?

@uwotm8 Don't say that. If you know deep inside you're not infected, and your doctor confirms it, then RESIST the urge to worry about and to get tested again and again. It will subside eventually if you keep resisting the urge/compulsion. Worrying about it continues the cycle, you have to break it.

@? ilshid But how do I know my eye isn’t std related if they haven’t swabbed it? Every single medical place is like ??? The optician doesn’t The doctor doesn’t The clinic doesn’t So how do I know it’s not an std? It could be and I’m not able to ignore it because I literally can’t risk infecting myself and I cannot lose him I will literally die

@? ilshid My ex from nearly two years ago did used to ejaculate on my face sometimes and I’m not sure if I got any near my eye then? But the conjunctivitis only appeared a few months ago, and I tested negative everywhere else? What if I was lucky and didn’t catch it in my vagina and mouth etc but did in my eye, I tested negative but I DO have an std in my eye and I transfer it to myself THEN I actually have something I can pass sexually to my partner and he thinks I cheated and leaves me ?

@uwotm8 That's not a thing that happens. You would have the STD everywhere. And as far as I know neither chlamydia or gonorrhea start showing symptoms after 2 years. If it really was an STD you would have gotten the symptoms much much sooner

@? ilshid It’s because I read online that symptoms *can* appear years later online so now despite only EVER having negative results I think oh Christ what if I had an undetected one and it ruins my relationship and my life

I have been tested 16 times in my life and 6 times since we got together, all negative