Is this a compulsion? I need your help ❤️

@Someone99 I know, but I can't stay with all this without being deeply upset...and I don't know how to move forward.. Thanks for the reply...

@Anonimus ME🫥 It's difficult. That's why a therapist is important through ERP. And you're welcome, anytime.

@Someone99 Well, I do, but I definitely have the impression that no one understands how I feel. I think it's just This happens to me like this, and I don't know if it's OCD.

@Anonimus ME🫥 Well, 1. It's against your values. 2. It's intrusive and distressing. Hmmm... :-)

@Someone99 yes i know..you are right but i can't believe that ocd can do this like this...

@Anonimus ME🫥 When it's attached to a sexual response it freaks us out so much more. Notice how many with POCD concerns write on here. Question is, who are you? Also, what exposures do you use? I have SOOCD. I can convince myself so many things mean I must be gay. What I will not do is look at naked men or gay porn, or even porn as an exposure. The exposure and response tools are applied it the thoughts. Acknowledge, allow, act. The 3 A's. Acknowledge the thought as intrusive and unwanted, allow it, act by just going on with whatever you were doing and not researching, reacting, etc ... So, as I often say, I never realized how not gay I am until I allowed the thought, maybe i am, maybe not.

@Someone99 maybe it's not for you, but if I had that topic...uh, I'd be overjoyed... I have incest ocd, many years. Disappeared and then returned... Engaged, soon to be married, I have my own company and I do everything properly, but that part of me is ruining my life... Maybe you're right, maybe I shouldn't expose myself to photos of that person's face, but it triggers me, I don't really have thoughts, I have images in my head... and they go really deep, as you can see from my post.. I do every day a purposeful ERP 15min, but maybe I'm not for it, because I can't say "maybe it's true, maybe not"...you see how far it goes with me...that when I see that person, my brain follows the face, the look, the way they move and gives me those feelings of arousel or idk...I'm very exhausted..it's like I'm fighting windmills...

@Anonimus ME🫥 I can see how troubling it is for you. You're courageous for seeking help. It's never good to keep it in. As I try to relate I can think about that type that is like kryptonite. Lol. I used to work with one and, well, that didn't end well. But to have it as a family member is all the more challenging. However, still, it doesn't "mean" anything. You know what's right and wrong, you have values you don't want to compromise, if you didn't, you wouldn't be as distressed. Hopefully that will encourage you in even the smallest way? I'd welcome your friendship any day.

@Anonimus ME🫥 Have you ever tried sarcasm?

@Someone99 oh i did, but i felt like ocd was being sarcastic and not me. I'm too serious about myself to always laugh like that..that is, these things seriously scare me..

@Someone99 hmm, what do you mean it didn't end well? Of course, I'm here and thank you for your support and friendship :)

@Anonimus ME🫥 I think in time for me I was able to respond with sarcasm, "yeah right, like I really want to..." Type response to my intrusive thoughts. Well, it ended up with me in a serious OCD crisis at work and I reacted wrong and got fired.

@Someone99 uh...so what happened? Although, I can imagine how difficult it is to deal with it, as if entering into derealization...

@Someone99 and for sarcasm, I'll try to practice it, I'm still not at that level... 🫩

@Anonimus ME🫥 Just be careful with the timing and all. Is this a family member who you see every day?

@Someone99 not every day. but it's my sister that I'm really attached to and she's also to me, to make things more difficult.. you can't imagine how much I hate myself..

@Anonimus ME🫥 I can imagine because I've been there. Self hatred and condemnation are all part of the OCD gift box. Like Christmas every day. Lol. There's no room on our minds fit grace, when grace is what we need most.

@Someone99 just like that...that's why it's hard to recover...

@Anonimus ME🫥 Hard, but possible. Do you know you deserve grace? Like, it's ok to not be perfect?

@Someone99 I know, but I can't say that it's okay to have such images and feelings... and if I know that it's ocd, somewhere in me, it's still something that I can't say "it's okay"...

@Anonimus ME🫥 Remember, OCD isn't the thought, it's the reaction to the thought...

@Someone99 thank you my friend, but if it were just thoughts I would easily, but feelings....

@Anonimus ME🫥 They're attached, believe it or not.

@Someone99 would like it to "get into my head" but it's like I'm an idiot 😂😵

@Anonimus ME🫥 Sarcasm, maybe? When you feel the sensation... "Yeah right, like I'm ...."

@Someone99 I only have her. She is 7 years younger, we don't live together, each of us has our own life. We were quite close until about 3 years ago. , then this came to me again..and I had the same topic when I was 16..she was a child, then I was moving away...she is really attached to me, and I love her the most in the world, but I have the impression that this is driving me further and further away from her and I suffer for the time when it was not in my head...

@Anonimus ME🫥 I can see how difficult this is on you. Are the urges stronger when you're with her or when you're looking at pics or in memory?

@Someone99 Well, when I'm working ERP, when I'm looking at pictures or I just randomly bump into photo! It depends when I'm with her, sometimes I scan parts of her face and the sexualization starts immediately, but sometimes I ignore it and it's ok...it definitely really bothers me, I feel like what I'm imagining is attracting me..

@Anonimus ME🫥 Does faith/religion/God have any part in your life?

@Someone99 yes of course...

@Anonimus ME🫥 There's some instruction about our thought life. About renewing your mind, taking thoughts captive, thinking on what's right, pure, honest, of good report, ets. And it's about the work we need to do to renew our minds. It's not like God will just take it all away. God could of course, but it's our efforts that God blesses.