It’s night rn where I’m at and I’ve been getting bombarded with thoughts and I have anxiety I tried doing compulsions because before doing them I could feel my heartbeat from the anxiety now I’m a bit less anxious but nowhere near close to calm because no matter how many times I see that I’m not gay it keeps coming back.
The more you don’t want to think about something, the more you will think about it, it’s like adding miracle grow onto the intrusive thoughts. What’s working for me is I try to accept that it’s just my ocd and accept that I can’t control my thoughts and I’m not going to try to avoid the intrusive thoughts because they get worse. I just say to myself ok I’m gonna think about it whatever and it’s not who I really am, and it’s certainly not a fantasy 💁🏼♀️
I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I can tell you that doing compulsions is actually not helpful in the long run because it makes OCD stronger. It has the opposite effect we want. It gives temporary relief. If you are in ERP therapy you will learn that thoughts are NOT facts. They are just thoughts. Everyone has intrusive thoughts - those of us with OCD assign them meaning. They feel real because our brain is sending us a false alarm. When I get an intrusive thought, I don’t engage with it. I don’t try to get rid of it. I let it be there. It cannot hurt me. If I am going to do anything I would say - great I don’t care. Whatever. That doesn’t magically take away the feelings of ocd - but in time it trains my brain that it is not an emergency and ocd is easier to deal with.
@Jeffrey Thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻
What can I say? I feel similar to you. I've reached a point where OCD makes me feel like I'm bisexual, when part of me rejects it.
Do you get like sexual scenes in your head?
@anonymous00981 Yes
@anonymous00981 Yes
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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