EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

ROCD Improvement

So I just had like a huge breakthrough. I often look for a feeling when I’m with him. And when I don’t I freak out mentally and it’s weird it’s hard it figure out why. But I was like doing my exposure and thought you know I choose this. I don’t need to do anything about this feeling I choose to love him on facts not feelings. So this doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING, I choose to love him despite knowing he’s not super conventionally attractive. It’s my choice , “what if I really don’t wanna be though” no it’s a choice that can’t be true if it’s a choice that means I do really want to be with him bc I’m still choosing him. If I didn’t wanna be with him I wouldn’t be with him and have no reason not t be. It’s a choice despite how you feel Evry day.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

Hmmm...this sounds kinda like something I was telling you weeks ago. 🤭 Lol. And this perspective, young lady, will last you a lifetime. Looks fade, feelings wane, husbands and wives don't like each other at times... But what you just wrote here is more accurate to what "love" really is than the butterflies we experience in our youth. God made a choice to love you/us. He didn't have to leave heaven to be nailed to a cross. He chose to. That...is love. 🙂

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 It’s so freeing! I choose that! Even when I don’t frame attracted I wanna choose that based on the fact I love HIM for who he is not just bc I wanna bf or a husband. I want that of course but I don’t feel the same every day even it wanes. I have no reason not to be with him he’s everything I could want in a man even if there are things I don’t like or favor or if it’s not really truly ALL everything. Bc I have to be able to love him through the things I don’t have that I may have wanted or things I don’t like.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 Awesome!!! Everything you told me about home weeks ago made me see he is a man who will love you for a lifetime. And as the two of you grow in your relationship with each other and with God a a couple, you'll understand what it's all about, why marriage is so sacred in God's eyes that he likens marriage with Christ and the church. Listen to John 15:11-13... "11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" Notice: "that your joy may be complete..." How? To lay down ones life for one's friends. And in relationship with a spouse, joy comes when we give, not by what we get.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 My fears have been with what if I am dissatisfied and I can never grow in my attraction to him physically which I believe it will but it wavers daily I understand he isn’t super hot but he is attractive enough for me and I choose him still

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 Even when I do wish sometimes he was hotter or better looking he’s working hard to lose weight and start going to the gym with me, eating well and meal prepping

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 That's awesome that you're doing that together too!!! If you do get married eventually, it'll be your lifestyle as a couple. It doesn't need to be you trying to change him... And through the rough times in a relationship it's the actions that guide the emotions and attraction. Saying "I love you" and showing it, especially when you just had the "fight" of your relationship, lol, will be what pulls you through. Then, btw, make up sex is always the best sex, always. 🫣 Lol!

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 I just don’t know how to cultivate a stronger connection to him so that my attraction physically CAN grow. I’ve committed myself to him but I fear co Stanton feeling unsatisfied

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 I basically feel like am I ok saying he’s not really my ideal type physically but he is everything I could’ve every wanted and I can look past that. Just bc having a cuter guy may sound nice it doesn’t mean it’s what I NEED I think it will grow . It’s not 0 it’s there

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 Looks are just looks. So, what is the intrusive thought telling you? This is what you'll need to discover and learn to deal with. I still sense in your replies that you're struggling. Almost as if it's a compulsion to keep writing this out.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 If he’s not my ideal type or because I reallt do desire a attractive type of guy I should leave him

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 That's a question I can't answer for you. I would say if you're not willing to make commitment to him, or anyone, then don't lead him, or anyone on. Can you see a lifetime with him?

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 Yes i believe so i cant see myself with a single other person. I really genuinely cant and honestly i think I can commit to him. I just feel like im at the end of my rope he’s absolutely to the T everything I should be looking for in a man. I feel super guilty my standards are too high

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 I wouldn't say so. I think you're ocd'ing a little bit. And you can separate from those thoughts so they lose their power on you. Is there outside pressure questioning you being with him? Friends or peers?

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 Nope in fact he’s a good looking man we are being asked to dinner and for counsel and all of that it’s very approved by Christian people and the church

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 I don’t need a better looking guy. I just prayed about it like a LOT I need to let my yes be yes and say I choose him regardless of how I feel on any day. I’m just scared of marrying the wrong man. What I desire doesn’t mean I need it I have what I need and a good looking man a GREAT man in fact and I’m going to let God work on my heart

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 So this is all an internal struggle. Can you pinpoint the struggle, like what is the voice or thought? "He's not my type", "I can find better"...? Maybe write whatever it is on paper so you have it there in front of you. And just look at it, apart from you.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 You're a wise young lady. You got this. I'm so excited for what God has in your future, as a couple. 🙂

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

@Someone99 I got this

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 Yeah... And I'd love to talk to him about you...he's probably head over heals crazy about you, you're probably his all... That is something that will last through it all.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

@EmmaGrace27 You and this conversation were a blessing to me today. Thank you 🙏🏼

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

And I kinda got tears in my eyes when I read this post. 🙏🏼

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w

...tears of joy, of course. 😊

cherubb

Date posted: 24w

rocd

i just realized that my relationship ocd is triggered the second i view someone as a potential partner! i just got the smallest crush on someone and immediately was checking my phone every few minutes for their messages and reading into their responses as either good or bad texts and made some tie to my worth based on how they reply or how quick! uh oh haha. just so many checking and overthinking compulsions. at least i realized this and can now bring it up in therapy to practice RPMs with my therapist!! RPMs are like life savers for my ocd, they help so much :,). i feel happy that i realized it was ocd. i used to think it was just feelings triggered by my ex and how he made me feel for three years. but now i realize it’s ocd and i can work on this which makes me feel better. i’m not sure if it “counts” as rocd but it definitely reminds me of how my rocd acts in a relationship. best of luck and big hugs to anyone who is struggling with rocd too!🎀🧚🏻‍♀️💗

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

ROCD Christian

So I’m getting there I’m almost at recovery. I have to tell myself I don’t know if my boyfriend is attractive enough for me to marry. I have no idea. Maybe he’s not. I have every right reason tk be with him I can name off reasons why I like him and love him more than physical appearance and they outweigh any bad thing or flaw. I also can do this Joe without trying to feel something. Or have a right feeling. I always felt like if I wasn’t that physically attracted it meant I should be with someone else and I don’t wanna be, so I’m taking the reigns and I’m saying yes I care about it this I wanna be with him I know k am for th right reasons I also think the spirit wants me here. God doesn’t value looks over personality. I have a history of prideful ness, and I’m going to take them captive and reflect on his heart in those moments. I’m not hopeless I have faith that God will come through for me. Even if he isn’t God will show me he is in control here even of my heart , he is in control and he will lead me .

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7w

ROCD doing better

So I talked to my therapist about some things, and I’m doing a lot better. I’ve realized I’m obsessed with infatuation and feelings. When I expect to feel really goodly eyed over my boyfriend I don’t, sometimes I am most of the time I’m not. However I cuddle him, have desires for sex with him, I love him, I love being with him, he’s funny, his personality is attractive. I also want my physical attraction to grow. I’m afraid if I don’t look at him an ogle that it means I should be with someone I can do that with.But physical attraction is fleeting. He’s amazing he should be the father of my kids, I am not wanting to give up. This is half ocd half not. I wand to feel a certain way but honesty ? I have to allow myself to feel these things and stop fearing. Like allow myself to reflect on his heart and the things I love instead of focusing on obsessing over something I don’t like.

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